tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17482296437325409592024-03-05T18:26:17.433-08:00Hook My BrainOur critics, all suffering from extremely short attention spans, open random books in the library or bookstore and review the first line, paragraph and page (if it's really good). If we find we can't put it down, we might just review the whole first chapter. When we stumble upon a wonderful beginning, we read to the end to see if good writing really does go all the way.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger455125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-20116833339679844492018-08-04T12:35:00.000-07:002019-01-27T09:07:11.647-08:00Insidious Intent by Val McDermid<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifc6PXxOxMhr3AqkmDTQ-yLZiW67a_aTEdFIVQZy8Nbdhjc37VlZxeIf51IQ0L-FVy2hdceYfA4hJV50VWmaUmRAlBN8V1Bz3tdNkux0KDWZUZqixSMwgBsX11J4y23LPJZRtDpImDacE/s1600/81wPaTZziuL+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1068" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifc6PXxOxMhr3AqkmDTQ-yLZiW67a_aTEdFIVQZy8Nbdhjc37VlZxeIf51IQ0L-FVy2hdceYfA4hJV50VWmaUmRAlBN8V1Bz3tdNkux0KDWZUZqixSMwgBsX11J4y23LPJZRtDpImDacE/s320/81wPaTZziuL+%25281%2529.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<i>If Kathryn McCormick had known she had less than three weeks to live, she might have made more of an effort to enjoy Suzanne's wedding.</i><br />
<br />
This is what we call foreshadowing, kiddies. But what is that you say? You say, no, it's not! You say, it's a spoiler right in the first line! Well, perhaps but what if this line is a secret red herring disguised as foreshadowing? The writer could be intentionally leaving the sentence incomplete. Perhaps, later the sentence will repeat in uncensored or unedited form, and it will read with the addition ...<i>in her rat-infested motel room.</i> That perhaps is not a very good example. I suspect this author could do a better job.<br />
<br />
Besides, let's face it, everyone dies eventually, so it's understood that characters eventually die. Even Alice dies in some unpublished act. So dying isn't that interesting; it isn't that much of a hook, but the question that gets raised with this line is the <i>how</i>? It's that delicious morbid curiosity we have. We must know <i>how</i>? Don't worry; it's perfectly normal and healthy.<br />
<br />
The next sentence and final one of the first paragraph:<br />
<br />
<i>But instead she had adopted her usual attitude of resigned disappointment, trying not to look too disconsolate as she stared at the other guests dancing as if nobody was watching.</i><br />
<br />
The final two clauses of this sentence confuse me a little. Were the guests dancing as if no one was watching. If so, what kind of moves would that entail? I don't know about you, but I see the Minister of Silly Walks at his teen daughter's first high school dance bent on embarrassing her, but that image gets quickly superseded by old people doing stripteases. Or is she staring as if nobody is watching her staring at them? If so, I know exactly how creepy that looks.<br />
<br />
Anyway, then the next paragraph introduces how she is bullied at work, by being excluded and passed over with polite conversation which is quite rude, or is she just paranoid? By the end of the first page it states that she was '<i>definitely insane</i>.' Full stop.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"I've been headhunted for a job in Cardiff."</i><br />
<br />
This is part of a flashback in which Kathryn remembers getting dumped three years before.<br />
<br />
There was no reason to review this except the title caught my eye on the library shelf. The word <i>insidious</i> made me chuckle because it feels extreme in relation to <i>intent</i>, like it referred to something much worse than murderous intent. This made me wonder if the opening was as insidious as the title. Well, I guess that's what a title is supposed to do: function as click bait, as it were.<br />
<br />
I like how the cover has no tagline that sharpens the hook, but instead a simple statement that this book is by a bestselling author. Her fans already know this, so this declaration can't be for them unless she's amassed a legion of forgetful fans. That means it must be on the cover for those who have no idea who this author is. My question is: Do people actually buy books based on the statement: <i>Internationally bestselling author </i>on the cover?<br />
<br />
Is this scenario possible? Someone goes into a bookstore and asks a clerk for assistance and says, "I would like to buy a book, but I have, like, no idea what. Do you have any ideas? Oh, and I read only bestselling authors. I don't have time to read crap."<br />
<br />
Then what if the clerk suggested this book:<br />
<br />
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<br />
And the shopper says, "God no. It's not by a bestselling author. Weren't you listening to me.? Besides, it says it's a movie, so I'll just go see that now, won't I?"<br />
<br />
No wonder Stephen King is slowly becoming irrelevant.<br />
<br />
Anyway this book didn't pull me in. Quite the opposite, it got me distracted as the above review can attest to. I guess if a book isn't overriding my mind's natural impulse to imagine and isn't stifling all the associative thinking I'm prone to having, then I'm not reading.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: 2 Stars (Fail)</span><br />
<b style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></b>
Sincerely,<br />
TheoUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-72818854042892890272017-08-10T14:18:00.004-07:002017-08-10T14:56:17.642-07:00Charcoal Joe by Walter Mosley<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>On Robertson Boulevard a block and a half north of Pico, just south of Whitworth Drive, on the eastern side of the street, there once stood a three-story turquoise building that had been a posh home in the thirties.</i><br />
<br />
This sentence hooks how only a GPS device can, so nothing special to see here; blink and you'll miss most of it if you're lucky. Actually, this opening is what I like to call a twofer, a one-two punch. The first line sets up the hook, which comes in the second line:<br />
<br />
<i>But the owner died, leaving his real-estate-rich, cash-poor relatives to turn the domicile into a commercial property.</i><br />
<br />
Actually, there's no hook there either, just the remnants of conflict from some other story that might very well get packaged and sold as a prequel. Page 1 goes on about the history of the building. I would have said droned on, but the building has some engaging history, so it's okay to read. But I didn't open this book to read about a building, no matter how charismatic it is. I came for characters I can care about and the stories that put them through the wringer. I didn't open this for a list of names on page 1.<br />
<br />
It's openings like this that make me wonder: Why don't writers (like the rest of us who daily tell our friends the stories of what just shockingly happened to us or how cruel the world has been to us) start at the beginning, that is, with a character confronted with or confronting a problem? It's so simple, yet writer's insist on screwing around with the very concept of: <i>In the beginning</i>; they forget or ignore that the traits of starting are universal: it always begins with a bang, an act, an emotion or all of the above. The moment a biological conception becomes inevitable would be a great analogy.<br />
<br />
Maybe writers think readers want to inch into a story like into cold water? Maybe writers think readers will short circuit if the story's too intense too soon? And by intense I, by no means, mean with violence. Or maybe writers think there's more than one way to hook a brain and compel them to buy it and into it?<br />
<br />
Well, there isn't. Character+conflict=hook. The weirder, and further from the opiatic mundane reality that's slowly choking us readers to death, the better.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"Good Morning, Mr. Rawlins."</i><br />
<br />
I was considering to give this a pass (but as close to a fail as the plaque is to your teeth) since some conflict is introduced. But after much thought, I can't because I've not been given a reason to care, which is essential in hooking my brain. However, it might not be that way for others; you know the type, the ones who'll eat rancid, stale food rather than 'let it go to waste.' But for my twitter-damaged brain, this one failed to get off at the starting line, and because so many books are tempting me to pick them up, that's all the time a writer gets to waste my time, before I move on to the next story.<br />
<br />
It's a desolate, unsatisfying journey, jumping from book to flirting book like some lonely tease afraid of being taken advantage of. I slog on anyway in tentative hopefulness, trusting this quest will happily end eventually once I stumble upon a story that will hook me and compel me to read to the end.<br />
<br />
Is it worth it? Sometimes I wonder. With so many books to choose from, it feels overwhelming at times, but eventually, I'll find it--I always do. I have lots of time to browse.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Verdict: Fail</b></span><br />
<br />
Rudy GlobirdUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-89443451500193630352017-08-09T12:59:00.000-07:002017-08-09T12:59:30.912-07:00Slaughtermatic by Steve Aylett<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Beerlight was a blown circuit, where to kill a man was less a murder than a mannerism.</i><br />
<br />
This is a prologue of sorts. I say of sorts because there isn't really a plot to this page of two paragraphs. It's more reminiscent of the intro to Star Wars with backstory rolling off into the cosmos. In this case, this bit of text introduces the story's setting.<br />
<br />
It's pretty cool with lots of ideas: bulletproof babies, bomb zombies, pincushions of snipers, and crime as the new art form. It sounds like a warning of what's to come, preparing the reader for a gluttony of violence. So if you read on and are disturbed by what you're reading and wish you never picked this book up, you have only yourself to blame.<br />
<br />
Chapter 1<br />
<br />
<i>Dante Cubit pushed into the bank, thinking about A.A. Milne.</i><br />
<br />
I like the name of the character. It's cool when characters are given names that probably no one in the world has. This opening line needs the next to be effective, or perhaps the second needs the first to be effective or perhaps they're just well woven like good writing is supposed to be.<br />
<br />
The next line:<br />
<br />
<i>Why didn't he ever write</i> Now We Are Dead?<br />
<br />
So this character goes into a bank armed to the nips with a view of robbing it. So even though there's the gun cliche, it isn't what you think: there are no Glocks or chicks.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"Hands up, granddad, and no sudden moves--it's a money or your life paradigm."</i><br />
<br />
Dialogue that moves plot forward and reveals something of character. The implication being that because Dante doesn't necessarily want to kill the old guy, he's a good guy doing bad things (bad things in our world, but not necessarily in his). Plus, let's face it, the guy sounds smarter than your average Walmart shopper. Even with the great strides TV shows like <i>The Big Bang Theory</i> has made to increase the average shopper's vocabulary, most people, I suspect, do not comfortably know what paradigm means or how to pronounce it. Here's an idea: pa-ra-dig-em may or may not be right. And certainly the average shopper wouldn't use the word in their day-to-day affairs, like when they go into a bank with nefarious intent. If I were ever held at gunpoint, it would set my mind at ease if the gunman used the word paradigm.<br />
<br />
Overall, this opening pulls readers in even if this is not a favorite genre.<br />
<br />
That's no small feat.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: 3.5 Stars (Definite Pass)</span><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-66362710449088809272017-04-11T12:48:00.000-07:002017-04-11T12:53:59.329-07:00Fade to Black by Tim McBain and L.T. Vargus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjJ4GsN203qXGtqBD41G20uuQtsjkeBaax9-2eLMDJJKPviarDy0ex75-F8X-4BZdmFuGf2iicTaYjt8xpEcG89_-xhWL4NT3UOF7nZrUVlzewze1T9kzR_UKoRZYkK3JOMlPDUXJ61w0/s1600/Fade+to+Black+by+Tim+McBain+and+L.T.+Vargus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjJ4GsN203qXGtqBD41G20uuQtsjkeBaax9-2eLMDJJKPviarDy0ex75-F8X-4BZdmFuGf2iicTaYjt8xpEcG89_-xhWL4NT3UOF7nZrUVlzewze1T9kzR_UKoRZYkK3JOMlPDUXJ61w0/s1600/Fade+to+Black+by+Tim+McBain+and+L.T.+Vargus.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Any minute now a hooded man will
come barreling out of nowhere and kill me.</span></i><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">There is a hook here, at least on
the surface. People sometimes think that a person being killed hooks readers. I
don't think it does in itself. In real life, we stop and watch and in movies it
can be hypnotizing, but it's still fiction we've become desensitized to, but in a book and at the very first line it rarely works for a couple reasons. One: we have no idea who the victim is and have no reason to care. And two: reading about death is not the same thing as seeing it, hearing it and smelling it. However, what sets this opening line of death apart from others is the fact that the narrator is saying it, so this does make it more interesting.
Then tone in the next sentence:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">So that sucks.</span></i><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">But the third line is where the death
of this unknown character takes an interesting turn. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I know this because it has happened
six times before.</span></i><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Then this loop of a situation is
explained. The narrator awakes to find himself in an ally hanging upside down.
A guy in a black-hooded robe<span class="apple-converted-space"> comes </span>along
and kills him and then he wakes up </span><span style="font-size: 18px;">in the ally</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> hanging upside down again. Only
this time, the narrator, with some experience, hopes to break the cycle. It is a
fast paced narrative guaranteed to keep you turning the pages.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">First thing said:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Swearing. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">This does not impress me.
Imagine meeting a person for the first time and the first thing that comes out
of their mouth is cursing. Not a great first impression. In this case, as this
is a first-person narrative, swearing isn't really the first impression we get
of the character, plus the situation probably warrants some expletives, but so
soon betrays a lack of creativity and it is rarely (if ever) paramount to a narrative despite the legion of writers who insist it is. First thing said could be so much more, like
moving the plot forward. Of course, dialogue can
also be used to reveal character, and some will argue that swearing reveals
character, but everyone swears in their lives at some point, so it's hardly something that reveals a uniqueness of character; it rarely establishes
identity. Here all it does is reinforce the narrative voice.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Anyway, I have to write something like what's above or this review could have fit into a tweet.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Nevertheless, the reader is thrown
into a scene that is bizarre, surreal, and filled with suspense and conflict. It would be impossible to put this down after reading only a couple of pages.<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 18pt;">Verdict: Cool</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Sincerely,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Theodore Moracht<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-65188742310110918922016-04-03T20:58:00.003-07:002016-04-03T20:58:40.542-07:00The Trial by Franz Kafka<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5eIfAkZbWJSlHXLFKg4Zw4-v2kQ6JdK-TQ-Szx_p6UHRnM7UCTBb1bA1vRlGEUV_4zW3yuhDSBNi0mcz4vIESDpqku_BsAtEJrZ9MkfMwT_ZXVH4xmMLOGHo1UUaBMyFv91wZA5E62jY/s1600/The+Trail+by+Franz+Kafka1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5eIfAkZbWJSlHXLFKg4Zw4-v2kQ6JdK-TQ-Szx_p6UHRnM7UCTBb1bA1vRlGEUV_4zW3yuhDSBNi0mcz4vIESDpqku_BsAtEJrZ9MkfMwT_ZXVH4xmMLOGHo1UUaBMyFv91wZA5E62jY/s1600/The+Trail+by+Franz+Kafka1.jpg" width="136" /></a></div>
<i>Someone must have traduced Joseph K., for without having done anything wrong he was arrested one fine morning.</i><br />
<br />
This is the translation that I have by Willa and Edwin Muir, but I prefer this one translated by David Wyllie:<br />
<br />
<i>Someone must have been telling lies about Josef K., he knew he had done nothing wrong but, one morning, he was arrested.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Breon Mitchell's translation:</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything wrong, he was arrested.</i><br />
<br />
The reason for the preference of the last two is that there is no mention of the "fine" weather, just that he is arrested in the morning. In any case, all three translations are excellent.<br />
<br />
The opening line from <i>The Trial</i> is what a first sentence should be. No wonder it's so famous. It raises questions, introduces a character and a situation pregnant with conflict. It also foreshadows what K. can expect throughout the rest of the novel, indicating a futile and hopeless mood. From this line, conflict and character unravel in what is known as <i>The Trial</i>.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"Who are you?"</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Pure Genius (Can't get this out of my head; MUST read on - I've been manipulated!)</span><br />
<br />
This from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his is as good as any. <i>The Trial</i> is number 51.<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-18637596972762270632015-05-28T12:10:00.001-07:002015-05-28T12:10:15.710-07:00Saving Kabul Corner by N.H. Senzai<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlzugSu1ZtpdCWuqWF_n6tK5cD1PDz6Lx9-zUbcyUH5uVX8xYIdkpQmVXqavOVIwZjUvc7Oo5H22SLiTirQ_qBZO76QNXF2yaAA3w2etn3gsAvvNAXgwtfql8Yy5kwbiqHv6-pM8hhcA0/s1600/Saving+Kabul+Corner+by+N.H.+Senzai.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlzugSu1ZtpdCWuqWF_n6tK5cD1PDz6Lx9-zUbcyUH5uVX8xYIdkpQmVXqavOVIwZjUvc7Oo5H22SLiTirQ_qBZO76QNXF2yaAA3w2etn3gsAvvNAXgwtfql8Yy5kwbiqHv6-pM8hhcA0/s1600/Saving+Kabul+Corner+by+N.H.+Senzai.jpg" /></a></div>
Chapter 1<br />
Perfectly Awful<br />
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<i>Ariana haphazardly shoveled pistachios into a bin and tried not to glare at her cousin, Laila, who knelt near the cash register, carefully stacking jars of cherry jam.</i><br />
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This is another book was nominated for an Edgar in the junevile catogory.<br />
<br />
This opening line does not reveal a mystery or even hint that there ever will be one. The rest of the first paragraph is lyrical, and clearly the writer is getting off on it, but nothing is happening, nothing important that is - meaning there is no story conflict. Paragraph 2 has back story and what makes that worse is unfortunately that the paragraphs are long.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"Hey."</i><br />
<br />
This book is shortlisted for the Edgar award for juvenile novel. Fortunately, the judges are forced to read past chapter 1 so this would have a chance, even though in the end it did not win. If the opening is any indication, I understand why.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Fail</span><br />
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Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-73509108555851443862015-04-27T11:53:00.001-07:002015-04-27T11:53:45.522-07:00Space Case by Stuart Gibbs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFzIjtUH785ZOjusaur_CKvwk4qgmWGWH3UURcMb0-zRF5daJ6x-Q9CThNBwAKydbOZat-PitScQDHg1kS9otMLWqTV_SAuaPLOKE1Fs202ANiqxmsglWHOMRgNm0BJKMY6WIT1GKAYlk/s1600/Space+Case+by+Stuart+Gibbs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFzIjtUH785ZOjusaur_CKvwk4qgmWGWH3UURcMb0-zRF5daJ6x-Q9CThNBwAKydbOZat-PitScQDHg1kS9otMLWqTV_SAuaPLOKE1Fs202ANiqxmsglWHOMRgNm0BJKMY6WIT1GKAYlk/s1600/Space+Case+by+Stuart+Gibbs.jpg" /></a></div>
<i>Let's get something straight, right off the bat: Everything the movies have ever taught you about space travel is garbage.</i><br />
<br />
So begins an Edgar nomination for best book this year in the juvenile category. This line establishes setting and tone. However, since this is a mystery novel, we mystery fans need a taste of the mystery, sooner rather than later.<br />
<br />
What we get instead for several pages is back story and character development. Important stuff, but please provide a hint of the mystery first, the puzzle etc. That is what hooks mystery fans. At least that is the easiest way to hook. Only after three pages do we get some hint of story plot conflict in the form of some preamble: the 12-year-old narrator says that it's because of the toilets that got him into more trouble than he could ever imagine. No clue though as to what that is. With all preamble, we basically learn that this novel will have a problem, a mystery, but intelligent readers can assume that anyway without being told, since that is kind of what novels are about: problems.<br />
<br />
Then three more pages of back story before there is mention of a murder. No details though. The narrator eases in by going through the whole process of him going to the toilet on the moon. Normally this would be ultra boring and unnecessary, but as this is in space it is interesting to learn about how that is done in a low gravity environment. It's through details like this that the author manages to hook, because of the setting and the character rather than the mystery itself. This can only tell you that this is a talented writer. Lesser writers fail every day trying to hook in such a manner.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I kept reading all the way to the end. I'm glad I did.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"Help."</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Pass </span><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-26826914322012972242015-03-11T12:47:00.001-07:002015-03-11T12:47:17.935-07:00The Final Silence by Stuart Neville<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Raymond Drew wanted to die on the towpath.</i><br />
<br />
Thus begins a scene with a character wanting to die because if he is taken to a hospital his secrets of who he really is will be revealed when relatives go to his house, and it is insinuated that he is not a good guy. <br />
<br />
Apparently, the guy is having a heart attack or something of the sort. It was expected; doctors told him so. Nevertheless, he decides to go for a drink on the way to his dream place to die, amusingly enough. With the drink detour the author buys some time and space in the narrative to stick in a little back story and human interaction in the hopes that we will care that this character is dying. To ensure sympathy, there is a dose of sentimentality, hoping to tug at the reader's heart strings.<br />
<br />
It doesn't. I don't care. The detached sentimental and melodramatic tone of this opening bugs me. It's as if the author is relaying more on the reader's humanity to get hooked emotionally by the mere fact some random person is dying than on the writing. That's not how it works, because this is not a real person yet - figuratively or literally. It is just a fictional character in a book - words. Nobody really cares when complete strangers halfway across the world die, so why should they care when a fictional character dies in chapter 1? But it's clear the writer wants us to feel something. I won't though.<br />
<br />
Other than this kitsch tone, the story manages to unfold with some questions, as it is clear there is a problem. Who is this guy? What is his horrible past? And most importantly, why should we care? Admittedly, that last question is not one a writer wants his readers to ask.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"What can I get for you?"</i><br />
<br />
This is in the bar where the guy has his last drink before going to the river to drop dead of a heart attack.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Pass (barely)</span><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-66659691031942463822015-02-02T14:09:00.001-08:002015-02-02T14:09:35.824-08:00Must They Die? A Look at Titles by Theodore Moracht<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoE6H5v3RmJ7SmuRViltMUeYkX-ZQOY5kT5yXDyEQTPsH4LqqcGogXvEtcbPhtvwKODqoswIyCXKdARN0fefQqcvtIuZUCmhUj_-bxmnbqM_CukBo8KeKiqfRnuFnpIvsxPJBw_14GbPo/s1600/Peter+Pan+Must+Die+by+John+Verdon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoE6H5v3RmJ7SmuRViltMUeYkX-ZQOY5kT5yXDyEQTPsH4LqqcGogXvEtcbPhtvwKODqoswIyCXKdARN0fefQqcvtIuZUCmhUj_-bxmnbqM_CukBo8KeKiqfRnuFnpIvsxPJBw_14GbPo/s1600/Peter+Pan+Must+Die+by+John+Verdon.jpg" height="200" width="131" /></a>While reviewing <i><a href="http://blog-novel-beginnings.blogspot.ca/2014/09/peter-pan-must-die-by-john-verdon.html" target="_blank">Peter Pan Must Die</a></i> I thought the title was cool. Little did I know that it was not very original after stumbling across another novel called <i>Snow White Must Die</i>. At first I assumed it was by the same author and part of a series so I googled it and was bombarded by a plethora of "Must Die..." titles. I've included some of the more interesting below, but make no mistake, there are plenty more, so many that I'd say we could state that this has become a rather cliched way for an author to title an impending masterpiece - not that this is the only cliched titling mishap. There are other cliched ways of titling a story that perhaps I will look at in the future.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifsbmsWNpXwmM4hIU9v08U36_TCywsncjBlSEXmcLb6J0Ti03J1PMnTwwvFGPyDdfAl2h7A0Izr8gwGhbFz0MjYv51dWK37arl2q8ThL0SJiosuhj15YUmFv1DdAzEMnWOVHygCH_vF8g/s1600/must+die+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifsbmsWNpXwmM4hIU9v08U36_TCywsncjBlSEXmcLb6J0Ti03J1PMnTwwvFGPyDdfAl2h7A0Izr8gwGhbFz0MjYv51dWK37arl2q8ThL0SJiosuhj15YUmFv1DdAzEMnWOVHygCH_vF8g/s1600/must+die+2.jpg" height="200" width="130" /></a>In general, I find that titling is an often overlooked art form that needs to be practiced and taught for the simple reason that titles participate in the hook of a story. If an author uses a title that is similar to other books there is the risk of people assuming that this book is like the others. If the others were not very good, readers can start associating based solely on the title. However, whether similar or not the key is that a title must stand out to be good. Choice of words and phrasing play a vital role in attracting a reader's attention to the the book, which is usually stuffed into a bookshelf in a bookstore, spin facing outward or a link on a web page. In either case, the cover is useless.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVD9MQwnyoVmqOQJraT3eU-SbkVWKl3YSBSL2g4B7PtaSqRMvbud1CdDtjF6dVj3RH1u8R-M4E1QdA7p0eEdLR55yjIkIAIZwgtOgyA5mBcE0aNDqMxrYFk31ogr6NlLHyldY97AHksv4/s1600/must+die+11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVD9MQwnyoVmqOQJraT3eU-SbkVWKl3YSBSL2g4B7PtaSqRMvbud1CdDtjF6dVj3RH1u8R-M4E1QdA7p0eEdLR55yjIkIAIZwgtOgyA5mBcE0aNDqMxrYFk31ogr6NlLHyldY97AHksv4/s1600/must+die+11.jpg" height="200" width="133" /></a><br />
Having a title with "<i>Must Die</i>..." in it has an obvious advantage, and I think that when a fictional character is added, it raises even more questions, curiosity and interest. Personally, I think that <i>Peter Pan Must Die </i>is more effective than <i>Snow White Must Die</i> for the simple fact that Peter Pan is the boy who never grows up and one presumes will never die. It's safe to assume that Snow White will die someday, despite the "happily ever after" platitude, probably clinging to the arms of her prince in a needy condensed panic.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7k44mCtoZbbcxh0rdFdQ-QrQLsfUSHU0SB3eZm77V4rdJe-WbdF9pqjozrQ25Z5DkZlHC891o9xFuw-OqkEdPNJiGR6FRdf4GuoiAuc3Q4KKTN3BRsk7x-JZXR07FAswJP7Oov_Uig8Y/s1600/must+die+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7k44mCtoZbbcxh0rdFdQ-QrQLsfUSHU0SB3eZm77V4rdJe-WbdF9pqjozrQ25Z5DkZlHC891o9xFuw-OqkEdPNJiGR6FRdf4GuoiAuc3Q4KKTN3BRsk7x-JZXR07FAswJP7Oov_Uig8Y/s1600/must+die+3.jpg" height="200" width="120" /></a>Using a fictional fairy tale character also welcomes a certain mood attached by the history of the tale and character. The myth and legend that's been built up in every brain from a childhood of reading these fairy tale classics, makes the titling all the more ominous in a magical and fantastical way. Yet, there is every reason to believe (without needing to read the blurb), simply by realizing where in the bookstore this is shelved that these titles have nothing to do with Peter Pan and Snow White, at least not those traditional characters we all grew up with and loved. Instead, one can assume that these titles are referring to codenames, drugs or (gasp) perhaps a metaphor?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi1sCVuJ85ilyCZzNQLhAAhi_IibiyPaagnijo3IEWoQC5s3eKtoLDpnMr86JgKD93NjqsiK_a1aN1N36iqStTq2pwRn8rTiiU2GC2xnBJb6MJjwX6ne5ChiWS9V5PIB_Lwtc1PlBASV4/s1600/must+die+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi1sCVuJ85ilyCZzNQLhAAhi_IibiyPaagnijo3IEWoQC5s3eKtoLDpnMr86JgKD93NjqsiK_a1aN1N36iqStTq2pwRn8rTiiU2GC2xnBJb6MJjwX6ne5ChiWS9V5PIB_Lwtc1PlBASV4/s1600/must+die+4.jpg" height="200" width="130" /></a>Less effective is using a fictional character that one sort of logically expects to die some day, due to the risks and dangers that they are always facing. The next book I came across, <i>Spock Must Die!</i> was used as a title to shock Trekkies and move them to emote, freak out and rush to the stores to grab this to alleviate their fears of the senseless death of an iconic character. And just to be on the safe side, the exclamation mark puts an exclamation point on death in this book. But before hyperventilating, stop and think about it for a second. When would there ever be a situation in which Spock must die, despite the constant attacks from Klingons and Romulans and other time-space anomalies? Spock will never die; there is no market in it, so right away before reading anything, the reader knows that Spock will not die, so no, he mustn't. Yet the hook is tantalizing even though the cover, unfortunately, gives something of the "Must die..." premise away.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEZe_xbXSMcIDH7CRSl3MARrYzMYnho9M05wx8JXM1zxYQAMx_iyKUanp8NLM-RHTISb1yHjESZZuXRL2G7rOkpG8ZOCYJfzH7SZAunXNNvVOPvh2KcYFPZuIAlgwTX2TGmmHG4LE5neA/s1600/must+die+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEZe_xbXSMcIDH7CRSl3MARrYzMYnho9M05wx8JXM1zxYQAMx_iyKUanp8NLM-RHTISb1yHjESZZuXRL2G7rOkpG8ZOCYJfzH7SZAunXNNvVOPvh2KcYFPZuIAlgwTX2TGmmHG4LE5neA/s1600/must+die+1.jpg" height="200" width="131" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6QyzhK0VmvbkjET8QGwgOoo0APUxUe8g2NBt6fWQ8Lhi0iybymDJbcfVCE_xMhg8kVXvzka2NAryaCsZVDvFL1-1DujfBuwZH8mzI-uQtPPXYfdQSv2ddCmF7XXPblguEglOuAfb0XpI/s1600/must+die+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6QyzhK0VmvbkjET8QGwgOoo0APUxUe8g2NBt6fWQ8Lhi0iybymDJbcfVCE_xMhg8kVXvzka2NAryaCsZVDvFL1-1DujfBuwZH8mzI-uQtPPXYfdQSv2ddCmF7XXPblguEglOuAfb0XpI/s1600/must+die+5.jpg" height="200" width="128" /></a><i>A Jew Must Die</i> is a slight variation on the "Must Die..." title. The title indicates no specific person who must die, real or imagined, just a Jew, and one assumes from the grammatical article 'a' it really isn't important which one. I think a title like this has one purpose in mind: to titillate. That is to say: It is doing its job. The words Jew and Die in the same title will evoke emotions in most people and get them associating with well-dressed, blond-haired, blue-eyed evil guys. This title would have no trouble standing out, be it on a crowded bookshelf, a slew of links or even in an editors slushpile and a person would have to be in a trance not to notice this book in a bookstore. Title, earns its pay in this one.<br />
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The next title has the same intention as <i>A Jew Must Die</i>, but with an obviously lesser effect. The king? It does give something of the premise or plot away, or it could be a red herring. With a title like <i>The King Must Die</i>, it would be a big disappointment if this was not about assassinating an important character, and preferably one that the reader can sympathize with.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Pd2adCfXiDdVqpGZA8XX8VCb__vYfLbI2nYeEkVlThrEw3vWr93BGiSVUOZZs810uAmOBnbsOIltttrMB1H60wrc8M4uZvQFTeKlKUaw5glSkZ9gYG_v6-FLNoaEf8IFT86eerkfvIY/s1600/must+die+7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Pd2adCfXiDdVqpGZA8XX8VCb__vYfLbI2nYeEkVlThrEw3vWr93BGiSVUOZZs810uAmOBnbsOIltttrMB1H60wrc8M4uZvQFTeKlKUaw5glSkZ9gYG_v6-FLNoaEf8IFT86eerkfvIY/s1600/must+die+7.jpg" /></a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTc10RhdDcuqCH6UGPSvIgjm6_LpxXKTuKeiIaBeuK19CjW33NbqllTqt73LYMHHpiEN5y5BJa9vH4DaOhhdo0ruRo7IxnNEwYDaU6IedROB3IP_TW20gtjBOlKIFfaI3ZPptU-4gsSXs/s1600/must+die+8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTc10RhdDcuqCH6UGPSvIgjm6_LpxXKTuKeiIaBeuK19CjW33NbqllTqt73LYMHHpiEN5y5BJa9vH4DaOhhdo0ruRo7IxnNEwYDaU6IedROB3IP_TW20gtjBOlKIFfaI3ZPptU-4gsSXs/s1600/must+die+8.jpg" height="200" width="137" /></a>I don't know which came first but <i>The Queen Must Die</i> beside <i>The King Must Die </i>makes me think this is a mystical series linked by nothing but the magic of names.<br />
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The next title I found, <i>The Face that Must Die,</i> is an interesting take on this style of titling. In this title it is not essential that a character dies, just the face. How does that happen? Is this about the joys of plastic surgery? This is the kind of title that I like, one that seemingly doesn't make much sense at first glance, thereby forcing the reader to wonder, which is what the reader needs to do to get hooked and start reaching for the money. The byline hook doesn't hurt either.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicr90t3w4b2i5uURELdMKfDjYHcg4IGCXH8zp008ft_ZKgnEKjYjezRutyFRWlpaLy2XUzC8kI8SeAUtZ6ayizOQmtA5vaE-oJPpwdKE3WhcKBaxN_c6FnE3tmWe4hdwbUDfk66P2Ri1s/s1600/must+die+9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicr90t3w4b2i5uURELdMKfDjYHcg4IGCXH8zp008ft_ZKgnEKjYjezRutyFRWlpaLy2XUzC8kI8SeAUtZ6ayizOQmtA5vaE-oJPpwdKE3WhcKBaxN_c6FnE3tmWe4hdwbUDfk66P2Ri1s/s1600/must+die+9.jpg" height="200" width="137" /></a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyAaCp4UImpSPKm3lCkTS3Uer1tvpyRodAwDXwFaU8xSxIKCIf9DVYvcO_OHTlEIVKWDE7-n4fxP49gy7f5xXhUXYQ7MMw4upqr5plR0H2tRaGexIp6Exnnn34L1h4cU2qiZeU8DxI_gI/s1600/must+die+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyAaCp4UImpSPKm3lCkTS3Uer1tvpyRodAwDXwFaU8xSxIKCIf9DVYvcO_OHTlEIVKWDE7-n4fxP49gy7f5xXhUXYQ7MMw4upqr5plR0H2tRaGexIp6Exnnn34L1h4cU2qiZeU8DxI_gI/s1600/must+die+6.jpg" height="200" width="125" /></a><i>Hello Kitty Must Die</i> falls into a similar category. Is this a phrase, as in <i>Hello, Kitty Must Die</i> or is Hello Kitty a name? I personally don't care so much and won't be rushing out to the bookstore to find out any time soon. If the character's name is Kitty this title takes "Must Die..." title formula and tries to make it a little more interesting than the others by giving the person who must die an unusual name. <i>Gidget Must Die </i>does the same thing. But other than the name Gidget, the title offers little else except death. Oh wait, that's a good thing, sorry forgot.<br />
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<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy6PLJRDR7fi_boD3dBTrL_vYrO592IfflYE23fgkhCNLOEGPBZVqe1VAE_v5x94nC-GvTDJn0MW5CfZL3eEwiuu4XM0x9IClAPMHNmkKOEjYAX0IShKiQIyaNmzA3MU4NzwRb0FboG1k/s1600/must+die+10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy6PLJRDR7fi_boD3dBTrL_vYrO592IfflYE23fgkhCNLOEGPBZVqe1VAE_v5x94nC-GvTDJn0MW5CfZL3eEwiuu4XM0x9IClAPMHNmkKOEjYAX0IShKiQIyaNmzA3MU4NzwRb0FboG1k/s1600/must+die+10.jpg" height="200" width="120" /></a>So, I think we get the point. In all of these stories, we are made to think that someone must/will die. This is supposed to raise a question. Why must this person die? What did they do? Who will kill them and how? Is it a promise of violence in the novel or is it merely the inference of suspense and action, as the whoever must die disagrees with the title and does everything possible to make it: No, I must Not Die!<br />
<br />
With some many titles like this, it starts to look like authors aren't being very creative when it comes to titling. For myself, I suppose what I learned from all this is that I am not as well read as I'd once thought.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-48915249769979599772014-10-21T20:33:00.000-07:002014-10-21T20:33:54.372-07:00The Death of Artemio Cruz by Carlos Fuentes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY4lwbKcmLC0BJUTIl3rrifzNWe2A8QntRKGFREcyspT1NGP14UIuLH6MfsdVih2gcIrXAY9qxKPfgRYEx1WWWq_nLNRwLnK77KR6HO_Yqk8bfXIyHKpucu7_eXJX2-Ec3k8WR2zydhEY/s1600/The+Death+of+Artemio+Cruz+by+Carlos+Fuentes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY4lwbKcmLC0BJUTIl3rrifzNWe2A8QntRKGFREcyspT1NGP14UIuLH6MfsdVih2gcIrXAY9qxKPfgRYEx1WWWq_nLNRwLnK77KR6HO_Yqk8bfXIyHKpucu7_eXJX2-Ec3k8WR2zydhEY/s1600/The+Death+of+Artemio+Cruz+by+Carlos+Fuentes.jpg" /></a></div>
<i>I wake up… </i><br />
<br />
On a metaphysical level this might be some powerful writing. I can imagine all the stressed-out philosophers, after taking a break from all the hard thinking they do from 9 to 5 and kicking back with a beer to relax and be entertained, being stimulated by this line: <i>I wake up…</i><br />
<br />
Others will simply be mystified by its profoundness. The next line kind of ruins the endless loftiness of the opening line.<br />
<br />
<i>The touch of that cold object against my penis wakes me up.</i><br />
<br />
This raises a question or two. Where is this guy? I thought he was in bed. Maybe he is, which would make that cold object all the more troubling. I read on.<br />
<br />
<i>I didn't know I could urinate without being aware of it.</i><br />
<br />
So this guy is in some weird situation in bed. We assume he has suffered some catastrophe but need to read on to find out. The writing is terse, blunt and full of tension. I like it. Read some random lines I've brought together:<br />
<br />
<i>I can't even make out the nearest voices. If I opened my eyes, would I
be able to hear them?… But my eyelids are so heavy: two pieces of lead,
coins on my tongue, hammers in my ears, a… a something like tarnished
silver in my breath. It all tastes metallic. Or mineral...Then I just lay there, face down on the bed,
with my arms hanging, the veins in my wrist tingling...I tighten my face muscles, I open my
right eye, and I see it reflected in the squares of glass sewn onto a
woman's handbag. That's what I am. </i><br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"Look, Doctor, he's just faking..."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<div class="calibre1">
<i>"Mr. Cruz…"</i></div>
<div class="calibre1">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="calibre1">
<i>"Even now in the hour of his death he has to trick us!"</i></div>
<br />
So it seems this person is dying or perhaps is just faking it. In any case, there is an uncontrollable desire to read on.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Pass</span><br />
<br />
This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. <i>The Death of Artemio Cruz</i> comes in as the 72nd best novel of all time.<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-90783490685128590362014-10-19T19:05:00.003-07:002014-10-19T19:05:32.847-07:00The Fever Tree by Jennifer McVeigh<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMrwchssyqkqp_DZWJ_0ANZXApWmrihuyiWBzENrPyZQjFlow0jP4j5gpVie5UfXCNDgpiqEAbNnLPfaUTwjJwOmL5O2fLtvzxZIuVW3QILIw27nqZ8iCqq6A-CKkHc5kySlEYa_xCu4Y/s1600/The+Fever+Tree+by+Jennifer+McVeigh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMrwchssyqkqp_DZWJ_0ANZXApWmrihuyiWBzENrPyZQjFlow0jP4j5gpVie5UfXCNDgpiqEAbNnLPfaUTwjJwOmL5O2fLtvzxZIuVW3QILIw27nqZ8iCqq6A-CKkHc5kySlEYa_xCu4Y/s1600/The+Fever+Tree+by+Jennifer+McVeigh.jpg" height="200" width="132" /></a></div>
<i>The first indication that her father was unwell had come in June.</i><br />
<br />
There is an indication of conflict in this sentence and there is an indication of characters though the slipping in of the month waters this line down. If something else had been added, like they learned about the father when, say something else was happening, the sentence would have been more complex in its conflict. That it's happening in June does not make me care more, and every word of an opening line needs to make me care. That is the only way to get me reading more.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"Lotta?"</i><br />
<br />
This comes early on page one, as a scene begins to unfold - the moment the father is ill and returning from a trip. The balance between narrative, dialogue, description and back story is well executed and well proportioned, which means that the opening pace of the novel is quick enough to pull the reader in as it moves towards the hook which is buried somewhere later. It does start to slow down by the time we get to chapter 2, primarily with back story. Chapter 2 begins thus:<br />
<br />
<i>When Frances's parents first married, her father had lived as close to respectability as he was able.</i><br />
<br />
The focus of this opening is on establishing the mood and back story. This is fine, but it will not hook as effectively as, say, an opening showcasing a giant tomato staggering down the street, gobbling up first borns.<br />
<br />
I do like the title and I think it adds to increasing the interest in picking this up, though perhaps not with sticking with it.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Pass (barely)</span><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-65923716932131288682014-10-18T22:09:00.001-07:002014-10-18T22:09:49.058-07:00The Chinese Orange Mystery by Ellery Queen<div class="MsoNormal1">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVb6lQ05mGQqg58SzuP4V-Pmq6xDLyM8556UPGLISfekK6DP3Qrf5AeJD9M7XZH2__HuzXknbYhthNt2PtyI7n8jkXz7hDaOwVktuBf-WGEha7mz6wUdNvPJ607ac_e_WWWzxlA21suJ4/s1600/The+Chinese+Orange+Mystery+by+Ellery+Queen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVb6lQ05mGQqg58SzuP4V-Pmq6xDLyM8556UPGLISfekK6DP3Qrf5AeJD9M7XZH2__HuzXknbYhthNt2PtyI7n8jkXz7hDaOwVktuBf-WGEha7mz6wUdNvPJ607ac_e_WWWzxlA21suJ4/s1600/The+Chinese+Orange+Mystery+by+Ellery+Queen.jpg" height="200" width="169" /></a></div>
<i>Miss Diversey fled Dr. Kirk's study followed by a blistering mouthful of ogrish growls. </i><br />
<br />
A lot has been said of this mystery with its seemingly unsolvable puzzle. I started reading this and managed to get quite a ways in, more than half, before I stopped. After a while the characters started to bug me and I got to wishing they'd all be found lying there dead on the next page. When I realized that wasn't going to happen, I chucked the book. So I never did learn the solution to this, not that I couldn't look it up if I wanted to, I could, I just don't care.<br />
<br />
The opening line epitomizes how this story is told. Fleety characters with melodramatic posturing. Nevertheless, there is character and conflict of a sort, and it's brief and to the point. The conflict, however, is not remarkable, but in a sense it doesn't need to be in the first sentence - though I prefer a sign of creative genius in the opening line, you know, something that hooks me and won't let go. This let's go.<br />
<br />
The rest of the paragraph is long, windy, descriptive and a little funny towards the end.<br />
<br />
<i>She stood still in the corridor outside the old gentleman's door, her cheeks burning and one of her square washed-out hands pressed to the outraged starch of her bosom. She could hear the angry septuagenarian scuttling about the study in his wheelchair like a Galapagos turtle, muttering anathemas upon her white-capped head in a fantastic potpourri of ancient Hebrew, classic Greek, French, and English.</i><br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"And don't come back, do you hear me?" </i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Fail</span><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore Moracht</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-45785904339098234342014-10-17T22:34:00.001-07:002014-10-17T22:34:19.576-07:00The Iron Dream by Norman Spinrad<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFFZtIqMevgp_2pgB51ifZh0zb4WfFKeuS1QGtQMa46OPMUOsc91TQFboC3TtEJZH97rlQ30TSgy4QivtgHl5afaCS5MArbK-MjR-zGhVkFW6FJTNFudnn82_E6exlVhStYkh4JlJBkPo/s1600/The+Iron+Dream+by+Norman+Spinrad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFFZtIqMevgp_2pgB51ifZh0zb4WfFKeuS1QGtQMa46OPMUOsc91TQFboC3TtEJZH97rlQ30TSgy4QivtgHl5afaCS5MArbK-MjR-zGhVkFW6FJTNFudnn82_E6exlVhStYkh4JlJBkPo/s1600/The+Iron+Dream+by+Norman+Spinrad.jpg" height="200" width="133" /></a></div>
<i>About the Author</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Adolf Hitler was born in Austria on April 20, 1889.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I think there is a hook here, as the premise of the novel is introduced early. As this falls under the alternate history genre, it caters to a very particular reader. But Hitler roaming around the US is bound to amuse most people. The next paragraph does so much to pull a reader in.<br />
<br />
<i>As a young man he migrated to Germany and served in the German army during the Great War. After the war, he dabbled briefly in radical politics in Munich before finally emigrating to New York in 1919. While learning English, he eked out a precarious existence as a sidewalk artist and occasional translator in New York's bohemian haven, Greenwich Village. After several years of this freewheeling life, he began to pick up odd jobs as a magazine and comic illustrator. He did his first interior illustration for the science-fiction magazine Amazing in 1930. By 1932, he was a regular illustrator for the science-fiction magazines, and, by 1935, he had enough confidence in his English to make his debut as a science-fiction writer. He devoted the rest of his life to the science-fiction genre as a writer, illustrator, and fanzine editor. Although best known to present-day SF fans for his novels and stories. Hitler was a popular illustrator during the Golden Age of the thirties, edited several anthologies, wrote lively reviews, and published a popular fanzine. Storm, for nearly ten years.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>He won a posthumous Hugo at the 1955 World Science-Fiction Convention for Lord of the Swastika, which was completed just before his death in 1953. For many years, he had been a popular figure at SF conventions, widely known in science-fiction fandom as a wit and nonstop raconteur. Ever since the book's publication, the colorful costumes he created in Lord of the Swastika have been favorite themes at convention masquerades. Hitler died in 1953, but the stories and novels he left behind remain as a legacy to all science-fiction enthusiasts.</i><br />
<br />
This should be treated as a preface or prologue as it is obviously part of the fiction of the novel. It reveals the promise and hook of sorts right off the bat. It's slightly creative to think of Hitler as a writer and biker who immigrated to America.<br />
<br />
<i>With a great groaning of tired metal and a hiss of escaping steam, the roadsteamer from Gormond came to a halt in the grimy yard of the Pormi depot, a mere three hours late; quite a respectable performance by Borgravian standards. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
This line means that the plot is arriving in a vehicle.<br />
<br />
<i>Assorted, roughly humanoid, creatures shambled from the steamer displaying the usual Borgravian variety of skin hues, body parts, and gaits. Bits of food from the more or less continuous picnic that these mutants had held throughout the twelve-hour trip clung to their rude and, for the most part, threadbare clothing. A sour stale odor clung to this gaggle of motley specimens as they scuttled across the muddy courtyard toward the unadorned concrete shed that served as a terminal.</i><br />
<br />
Usually descriptive writing slows the pace, and if it's early in the novel, can unhook a reader fairly quickly, but I like the writing here and the description is filled with conflict.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"Day pass, citizen, or citizen candidate?"</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Pass</span><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Rudy GlobirdUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-19405304100001252482014-10-16T19:31:00.000-07:002014-10-16T19:31:15.793-07:00Hopscotch by Julio Cortazar<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWjrio-vCxRraqyRrkncpPpY9iblg6OJki8XrY7VnGPJQJxvGK6S7J8hDBXuzgzIwBVTRA9mguRohzleDn8xLBdWn4G7I8J2jWOOUZ617Eky334l1qy7siwlJq9J9Nd8AiUMbcnRSNaRs/s1600/Hopscotch+by+Julio+Cortazar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWjrio-vCxRraqyRrkncpPpY9iblg6OJki8XrY7VnGPJQJxvGK6S7J8hDBXuzgzIwBVTRA9mguRohzleDn8xLBdWn4G7I8J2jWOOUZ617Eky334l1qy7siwlJq9J9Nd8AiUMbcnRSNaRs/s1600/Hopscotch+by+Julio+Cortazar.jpg" height="200" width="130" /></a></div>
<i>TABLE OF INSTRUCTIONS</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>In its own way, this book consists of many books, but two books above all.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>The first can be read in a normal fashion and it ends with Chapter 56, at the close of which there are three garish little stars which stand for the words The End. Consequently, the reader may ignore what follows with a clean conscience.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>The second should be read by beginning with Chapter 73 and then following the sequence indicated at the end of each chapter. In case of confusion or forgetfulness, one need only consult the following list: etc.</i><br />
<br />
This is how my copy of the book begins. It's an interesting idea if it's true, I mean reading a book out of order or that there are two different ways to read a book, in two different orders that would produce two different stories.<br />
<br />
Chapter 1 begins like this:<br />
<br />
<span class="font4"><i>WOULD I find La Maga? </i></span><br />
<span class="font4"><br /></span>
<span class="font4">This raises a question but there is no reason to care.</span><br />
<span class="font4"><br /></span>
<span class="font4"><i>Most of the time it was just a
case of my putting in an appearance, going along the Rue de Seine to
the arch leading into the Quai de Conti, and I would see her slender
form against the olive-ashen light which floats along the river as she
crossed back and forth on the Pont des Arts, or leaned over the iron
rail looking at the water. It was quite natural for me to climb the
steps to the bridge, go into its narrowness and over to where La Maga
stood. </i></span><br />
<span class="font4"><br /></span>
<span class="font4">The writing style is descriptive yet tight. Nevertheless, this opening fails to hook me. It is literary fiction and therefore one must make a conscious decision to read this and carry on with shear will, as the writer has other things on his mind besides hooking.</span><br />
<span class="font4"><br /></span>
<span class="font4">First thing said:</span><br />
<span class="font4"><br /></span>
<span class="font4"><i>"You couldn't do it," she said. "You think too much before you do anything."</i></span><br />
<span class="font4"><br /></span>
<span class="font4">This is near the end of chapter 3, so characters saying things doesn't figure into the story telling process in this novel, at least not in the beginning.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="font4"><span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Fail</span></span><br />
<span class="font4"><br /></span>
<span class="font4">Sincerely,</span><br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-20481466371319037252014-10-15T19:43:00.000-07:002014-10-15T19:43:34.641-07:00Thank You for Smoking by Christopher Buckley<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOhpxFkkee6jZRIoPzcKJPCWBiXVQwiM2jNO14pQWsN0I3mi5GI8g9dhLc2MeGv9DBrTB-KthUj5Uj7qZRcfHmFu5KGrmgXnm0KDoEPK0j3eC1WEFk40pQA876A31NTOAxIoqcn9P1VRo/s1600/Thank+You+for+Smoking+by+Christopher+Buckley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOhpxFkkee6jZRIoPzcKJPCWBiXVQwiM2jNO14pQWsN0I3mi5GI8g9dhLc2MeGv9DBrTB-KthUj5Uj7qZRcfHmFu5KGrmgXnm0KDoEPK0j3eC1WEFk40pQA876A31NTOAxIoqcn9P1VRo/s1600/Thank+You+for+Smoking+by+Christopher+Buckley.jpg" /></a></div>
<i>Nick Naylor had been called many things since becoming chief spokesman for the Academy of Tobacco Studies, but until now no one had actually compared him to Satan.</i><br />
<br />
Character, premise and a tantalizing hint of conflict in the form of being accused of being not unlike Satan starts this book off. The opening paragraph is witty, descriptive, creative and ends with:<br />
<br />
<i>WARNING: SOME PEOPLE WILL SAY ANYTHING TO SELL CIGARETTES.</i><br />
<br />
Tone is well established and one can't help but think this will be a fun read.<br />
<br />
The rest of the prologue goes on to tell us that Nick works for the cigarette companies and is about to give a speech in front of health professionals. Nick that proceeds to spin, with expertise, in favor of the smoking campaign, making the anti-smoking camp look like a bunch of murderous doctors bent on taking away our core freedoms. Fun.<br />
<br />
Chapter 1:<br />
<br />
<i>There was a thick stack of WHILE YOU WERE OUTS when he got back to the Academy's office in one of the more interesting buildings on K Street, hollowed out in the middle with a ten-story atrium with balconies dripping with ivy.</i><br />
<br />
A little overwritten, but at least chapter 1 takes over where the prologue left off and isn't about different people in a different place.The paragraphs are long and descriptive slowing the narrative down, but most readers should be hooked by the prologue and be able to weather their way through the long, rambling opening paragraphs of chapter 1.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"Believe it or not, I'm delighted to be here at the Clean Lungs 2000 symposium."</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Pass</span><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Rudy GlobirdUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-73465948760878636462014-10-14T18:33:00.001-07:002014-10-14T18:33:11.047-07:00Horns by Joe Hill<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF9ygIUM8nhbfien1jJPwIRKEUBLpNvkNNACUIM0vwfgzW3aqDDGzmMdHPEx2nEcgJuZ9CMUiKpS0ACSyWQ8KeGBSFDLepT5euM95huS3V2AaF0iMJRmrJ_9EwgZ9415qa1I7zTsqLkAA/s1600/Horns+by+Joe+Hill.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF9ygIUM8nhbfien1jJPwIRKEUBLpNvkNNACUIM0vwfgzW3aqDDGzmMdHPEx2nEcgJuZ9CMUiKpS0ACSyWQ8KeGBSFDLepT5euM95huS3V2AaF0iMJRmrJ_9EwgZ9415qa1I7zTsqLkAA/s1600/Horns+by+Joe+Hill.jpg" /></a></div>
<i>Ignatius Martin Perrish spent the night drunk and doing terrible things.</i><br />
<br />
There is an element of preamble in this line: drunk guy does bad things. Read on to find out if you care; if you dare.<br />
<br />
The next line:<br />
<br />
<i>He woke the next morning with a headache, put his hands to his temples, and felt something unfamiliar, a pair of knobby pointed protuberances. </i><br />
.<br />
Damn those protuberances. In chapter 1, which is so short, not even a page, we learn that this guy wakes up with horns, hence the title. Now the question is, what the heck did this guy do last night in a drunken stupor that warrants being branded with horns? But it is nice that the hook and premise are revealed right out of the gate. The stakes have been set and now the reader reads on to see how Ignatius deals with his protuberances.<br />
<br />
It sounds obvious for a horror story, and in a way a little cheesy sounding: a guy with horns. Let the jokes begin.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"I'm sick."</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Pass</span><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore Moracht<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-40202363398654864412014-10-11T19:21:00.000-07:002014-10-11T19:21:05.042-07:00The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>I had been making the rounds of the Sacrifice Poles the day we heard my brother had escaped.</i><br />
<br />
There are a couple things about this opening line that work. First the concept of Sacrifice Poles raises a question or two, and secondly the fact that the narrator's brother escaped. One assumes that this means either from a mental asylum or a prison. One doesn't escape from, say, an office job in Barrie, Ontario. Anyway, this raises other questions, like who is this brother, and more specifically, what has he done to be somewhere that needed escaping from?<br />
<br />
The next and final line of the first paragraph contains another puzzling word:<br />
<br />
<i>I already knew something was going to happen; the Factory told me.</i><br />
<br />
While not very scary yet, there is a mood that is created in this opening paragraph with the capitalization of Sacrifice Poles and Factory. It makes one wonder if this isn't set in Kentucky or just down the street from the set of <i>Deliverance</i>. Establishing the mood early is important in dark fantasy and the wording in this opening line can't help but give one the creeps, at least a little.<br />
<br />
In the next paragraph we learn about the Sacrifice Poles hold animals parts, like a rat head with dragonflies and another with a seagull and two mice.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"Diggs was just here."</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Pass</span><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-83874866324817817942014-10-10T13:41:00.000-07:002014-10-10T13:41:19.017-07:00Snow White Must Die by Nele Neuhaus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>The rusty iron staircase leading downstairs was narrow and steep.</i><br />
<br />
After the all important introduction of a rusty staircase we get Mr. Pronoun feeling for the light switch. The opening paragraph is long and descriptive with heavy words designed to create an overwhelming sense of atmosphere akin to a 1970's B film Gothic epic - until a Bryan Adams' song starts playing, that is. Fortunately, we're not made privy to which.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"Hello, Snow White."</i><br />
<br />
The point of the prologue is that Ms. Pronoun, called Snow White, must be kept hidden. We can infer she is dead, until the writer comes out and states this directly, for those who don't have a very high reading comprehension level. This pronoun must be a little weird for keeping a dead body and pretending it is still alive, talking to it, dreaming for it to smile. So there is a little mystery here that raises some questions. But as I've seen <i>Psycho</i>, I can't say I'm too shocked by this plot point. Truth be told, weirdos keeping dead bodies as companions is getting a bit cliche in fiction.<br />
<br />
Chapter 1:<br />
<br />
<i>Thursday, November 6, 2008</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>He didn't say "See you later."</i><br />
<br />
The reason why is apparent in the next line:<br />
<br />
<i>Nobody who was let out of the slammer ever said "See you later."</i><br />
<br />
The pronounolgy is ripe in this opening. Mr. Pronoun is let out of prison. Not much conflict here, unless the guy is homicidal or something.<br />
<br />
Setting is established first to establish mood. The pronounology only adds to this effect and is obviously intentional. Doing it this way may hook some readers, but in my experience and to my taste, it comes off as melodramatic and, well, cheesy.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Pass (barely)</span><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Rudy GlobirdUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-9524821935173870782014-10-09T12:41:00.001-07:002014-10-09T12:41:40.575-07:00The Corpse Bridge by Stephen Booth<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Thursday 31 October</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Dusk was falling on the Corpse Bridge by the time Jason Shaw reached the river.</i><br />
<br />
The rest of the paragraph is about weather coupled with the problem that this person is going to be late. The only interesting thing about this paragraph is the name Corpse Bridge. But that isn't enough to pull me in; after all, it is the title of the novel, so the name of the bridge comes as no surprise. I like the title; it's effective and would work better in conjunction with the opening line to maximize the hook. Repeating the title in the opening line reads like a wasted opportunity, a redundancy.<br />
<br />
Oh, and the fact that it is Halloween doesn't hook. Why should it? Nothing disturbing or evil ever happens on Halloween.<br />
<br />
The second paragraph begins with more weather:<br />
<br />
<i>Jason had come out unprepared for the downpour.</i><br />
<br />
This makes it seem like the biggest problem in the beginning, what one might call the inciting event, is the rainy weather.<br />
<br />
Then Jason sees a person running on the other side of the bridge and that's it - the narrative is interrupted with a break and POV switch to two different characters on page 3.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"It was definitely you."</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Fail</span><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-16657327656773507232014-10-08T12:54:00.002-07:002014-10-08T12:54:17.516-07:00A Good Marriage by Stephen King<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>The one thing nobody asked in casual conversation, Darcy thought in the days after she found what she found in the garage, was this: How was your marriage?</i><br />
<br />
By paragraph 3 we get the bio of this character starting with: S<i>he had been born.... </i>The back story dump goes on for pages and would be a total fail if it weren't for the fact that life is not perfect and filled with some conflict, which is all that's needed to make life interesting to read about. Nevertheless, I can't help but wonder if King is trying to put the classics to shame with all the back story so early and so dense. Darcy's whole life is covered in chapter 1, bringing us right up to the garage.<br />
<br />
Chapter 2 begins with the dilemma of not have batteries in the remote control, and not having the right ones in the house. It is explained that there are other sizes, C's and D's and tiny triple A's but no double A's! So she must go out into the garage because she doesn't know how to change the channel manually. But I ain't buying it. At this point King is giving me every reason to stop caring about the garage, as he seems more interested in beating around the bushes with life history, batteries and TV shows. I feel the overwhelming urge to stop reading now.<br />
<br />
However, I think this opening line has enough to raise a question or two. What was it she found and why is it of interest that no one is asking about her marriage?<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"No coin collections?"</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Fail</span><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-77877678032955845652014-10-07T17:51:00.000-07:002014-10-07T17:51:40.777-07:00Koko by Peter Straub<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>At three o'clock i the afternoon of a grey, blowing mid-November day, a baby doctor named Michael Poole looked down through the windows of his second-floor room into the parking lot of the Sheraton Hotel.</i><br />
<br />
I have high standards when it comes to horror. The standard is that I must be scared or disturbed on the first page, and/or I must find something unsettling in the writing. I use <i>The Haunting of Hill House</i> as my guiding light. That opening line is about as perfect as it gets for a horror novel. I rarely see anything that comes close to it, not even from the so-called experts of horror like Stephen King or Peter Straub.<br />
<br />
This line begins with that age-old cliche: weather, before shifting to some guy looking out a window. It is not scary, though is perhaps a little moody. In support of Mood we have phrasing like that of <i>baby doctor</i> which does unsettle, ever so slightly. As well, the wording in places support the dark fantasy mood in the opening paragraph: we have words like <i>lunatic, grinding, frustrated, enemy, damn </i>and <i>sacrificed</i>. But it takes more than the right wording to hook a horror fanatic.<br />
<br />
Mood is vital to getting the reader in the mood to be scared, but it needs to be in conjunction with character and conflict and not introduced first all by itself, as if there is some order to unrolling the literary devices in order to tell a story.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"Well, damn."</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Fail</span><br />
<br />
With horror novels I don't want the promise of fear. I want it on the first page and in the first sentence. If the opening doesn't have the goods, then a horror novel is not doing what it's supposed to be doing on page 1 and therefore will not hook. This hooks because it contains the byline hook. If John Smith wrote this, with this opening, it would never see the light of day, which is to say, there is justice in the Universe, just not in these parts.<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-80519277216842606192014-10-06T22:18:00.001-07:002014-10-06T22:18:11.696-07:00A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>In the late summer of that year we lived in a house in the village that looked across the river and the plain to the mountains.</i><br />
<br />
The next sentence is about the riverbed and pebbles and then with the third sentence of the first paragraph do we get the beginning of a hook:<br />
<br />
<i>Troops went by the house and down the road and the dust the raised powdered the leaves of the trees.</i><br />
<br />
What's of interest is the troop movement and not the fact that they're making everything dusty. But this beginning is all about painting a picture of the scene, the fields and trees and weather before introducing character and conflict. But with the mention of troops the reader has something human to hold onto until concrete characters and conflict come, that is to say when the story actually starts, which doesn't take too long. It is mostly telling in chapter 1 and 2 which establishes the tone and mood. It tells of the struggles the fighting man had in World War 1, things like poor weather, disease, bullets.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"Priest today with girls."</i><br />
<br />
Odd beginning of speech in any novel, as a captain picks on and bullies a priest as that is the only entertainment fighting men had. It's quite good and rather funny and is fairly early midway through chapter 2.<br />
<br />
The opening line has no hook and is nothing to write home about, but by the end of the short chapter 1 it's possible for readers to get pulled in.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Pass (barely)</span><br />
<br />
This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. <i>A Farewell to Arms</i> is considered the 73rd best novel of all time.<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-25813354354571544682014-10-05T20:17:00.001-07:002014-10-05T20:17:16.454-07:00Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>When I reached 'C' Company lines, which were at the top of the hill, I paused and looked back at the camp, just coming into full few below me through the grey mist of early morning.</i><br />
<br />
Thus begins the prologue. We have an unobtrusive introduction of setting - that of a military conflict, presumably that of World War 1, with a little weather to dull or soften the blow.<br />
<br />
Chapter 1:<br />
<br />
<i>"I have been here before," I said; I had been there before; first with Sebastian more than twenty years ago on a cloudless day in June, when the ditches were creamy with meadowsweet and the air heavy with all the scents of summer; it was a day of peculiar splendour, and though I had been there so often, in so many moods, it was to that first visit that my heart returned on this, my latest.</i><br />
<br />
I think this is a classic example of abusing the semicolon, using them as if they are chains pulling all the sentences together as they are being dragged across the page. The description of weather past is also to blame for making this line looked bloated. I mean all of that line just to say: <i>I was there before. </i>If I had a friend who rambled on like that I'd be in jail for assault.<br />
<br />
First thing said:<br />
<br />
<i>"Has Mr Hooper been round?"</i><br />
<br />
The prologue is of some interest with scenes and conflict and characters. It's long though, and there are lots of interruptions to the forward narrative.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Pass (barely)</span><br />
<br />
This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. <i>Brideshead Revisited</i> ranks as the 74th greatest novel of all time.<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-35061597310213891812014-10-04T17:01:00.003-07:002014-10-04T17:01:59.336-07:00The Last Chronicle of Barset by Anthony Trollope<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>I can never bring myself to believe it, John," said Mary Walker, the pretty daughter of Mr. George Walker, attorney of Silverbridge. </i><br />
<br />
With an opening that contains dialogue we are usually forced to keep reading in order to understand what is happening. With this line there is a hint of trouble, but no way to surmise what that conflict might be. It could be about anything from a lost puppy to a cross-dressing priest. Though, the later is somewhat unlikely considering it's Trollope.<br />
<br />
So let's read on and see if there is a hook in the rest of the first paragraph.<br />
<br />
<i>Walker and Winthrop was the name of the firm, and they were respectable people, who did all the solicitors' business that had to be done in that part of Barsetshire on behalf of the Crown, were employed on the local business of the Duke of Omnium who is great in those parts, and altogether held their heads up high, as provincial lawyers often do. They,—the Walkers,—lived in a great brick house in the middle of the town, gave dinners, to which the county gentlemen not unfrequently condescended to come, and in a mild way led the fashion in Silverbridge. "I can never bring myself to believe it, John," said Miss Walker.</i><br />
<br />
Nope, no hook there, just back story. Then:<br />
<br />
<i>"You'll have to bring yourself to believe it," said John, without taking his eyes from his book.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"A clergyman,—and such a clergyman too!"</i><br />
<br />
Suddenly the cross-dressing priest is looking more and more like an option until we learn that this clergyman is in debt. Oh, the tension!<br />
<br />
This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. <i>The Last Chronicle of Barset</i> comes in as the 75th best novel of all time.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Pass (barely)</span><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Theodore MorachtUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748229643732540959.post-15121948223068100242014-10-02T12:35:00.001-07:002014-10-02T12:35:15.007-07:00The Mothers by Jennifer Gilmore<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>November 2009</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>We were headed for the Verrazano Bridge, caught in traffic.</i><br />
<br />
Great another opening that's stuck in traffic. So while we wait, and the characters wait in the car, why not take this opportunity for some superfluous information, on weather and seasons and some back story?<br />
<br />
<i>It was several weeks before thanksgiving, which I remember because there was a massive billboard hanging from a crumbling brick building off a highway in Sunset Park.</i><br />
<br />
Here the narrator is ensuring the reader that he/she/whoever is not going to be one of those pesky unreliable narrators, as he/she/whoever goes out of her way to prove that it is a certain amount of ambiguous time before the holiday. The next paragraph talks about the weather: <i>...heat and gas from cars rose in waves.</i><br />
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First thing said:<br />
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<i>"Honey."</i><br />
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The story problem on the opening pages is that someone is not getting pregnant. So with a title like <i>The Mothers</i>, this is certainly a problem.<br />
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On the plus side, the tone and mood is established right away, with some characters being revealed and the writing is light and easy. Still, I don't see a hook in the first couple of pages, besides the barren, infertile, unfruitful womb and/or impotence element. For some this might make for gripping reading and pull them in, but for me? Nah. Once I'm old, fat, bald and impotent I may come back to this opening with a new-found understanding and appreciation, but until then - next book on the shelf.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Verdict: Fail</span><br />
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Sincerely,<br />
Rudy GlobirdUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0