Thursday, 28 May 2015

Saving Kabul Corner by N.H. Senzai

Chapter 1
Perfectly Awful

Ariana haphazardly shoveled pistachios into a bin and tried not to glare at her cousin, Laila, who knelt near the cash register, carefully stacking jars of cherry jam.

This is another book was nominated for an Edgar in the junevile catogory.

This opening line does not reveal a mystery or even hint that there ever will be one. The rest of the first paragraph is lyrical, and clearly the writer is getting off on it, but nothing is happening, nothing important that is - meaning there is no story conflict. Paragraph 2 has back story and what makes that worse is unfortunately that the paragraphs are long.

First thing said:

"Hey."

This book is shortlisted for the Edgar award for juvenile novel. Fortunately, the judges are forced to read past chapter 1 so this would have a chance, even though in the end it did not win. If the opening is any indication, I understand why.

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

4 comments:

  1. I love everything about this review. It's like watching someone who deserves to get a football in the groin get a football to the groin.

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  3. Love this review. It's better than watching George C Scott get a football in the groin.

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  4. Hi there,

    I wonder if you might be interested in reviewing an action adventure young adult ebook called The Secret of Sinbad's Cave. Imagine Famous Five meets Treasure Island set in New Zealand - with a mystical twist. Here's a quick synopsis:

    Nat Sheppard’s world is turned upside down on the first day of the school holidays by the discovery of a secret room containing cave maps with clues to an ancient treasure. But Nat and her friends soon discover they’re not the only ones chasing the jewels. Professional treasure hunters are on the trail – and they’re prepared to eliminate anyone in their way.

    If you are interested I'm happy to send a pdf. My email address is my full name at gmail dot com.

    Thank you so much for your time.

    Warm regards,

    Brydie Walker Bain
    Waitomo Caves
    New Zealand

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