Space Case by Stuart Gibbs

Let's get something straight, right off the bat: Everything the movies have ever taught you about space travel is garbage.

So begins an Edgar nomination for best book this year in the juvenile category. This line establishes setting and tone. However, since this is a mystery novel, we mystery fans need a taste of the mystery, sooner rather than later.

What we get instead for several pages is back story and character development. Important stuff, but please provide a hint of the mystery first, the puzzle etc. That is what hooks mystery fans. At least that is the easiest way to hook. Only after three pages do we get some hint of story plot conflict in the form of some preamble: the 12-year-old narrator says that it's because of the toilets that got him into more trouble than he could ever imagine. No clue though as to what that is. With all preamble, we basically learn that this novel will have a problem, a mystery, but intelligent readers can assume that anyway without being told, since that is kind of what novels are about: problems.

Then three more pages of back story before there is mention of a murder. No details though. The narrator eases in by going through the whole process of him going to the toilet on the moon. Normally this would be ultra boring and unnecessary, but as this is in space it is interesting to learn about how that is done in a low gravity environment. It's through details like this that the author manages to hook, because of the setting and the character rather than the mystery itself. This can only tell you that this is a talented writer. Lesser writers fail every day trying to hook in such a manner.

Anyway, I kept reading all the way to the end. I'm glad I did.

First thing said:

"Help."

Verdict: Pass 

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

The Dynamite Flynns by Leslie McFarlane

The "Iron Mick" was well past sixty, but he hadn't forgotten how to skate.

Finding Leslie McFarlane books is not so easy these days. This one I found in a ratty pile of books at a laundry mat, and rather than offering to buy it and risk being refused, I simply took it. This book is about hockey. The opening line introduces a character who is interesting from a hockey point of view. An old man who can still skate and presumably still play. The nickname of Iron Mick is revealing too and with that one line, I think we get a pretty good first impression of this character. However, there is no conflict yet and even though the opening begins with a scene it is merely of some kids playing some old school hockey.

First thing said:

"I'm coming lads!"

Verdict: Pass (barely)

Breakaway

A howling November snowstorm swept the prairies.

So begins another hockey book.This one begins with weather, but it's weather that establishes setting, that of wild and cold Saskatchewan or thereabouts. It reminds me of the times before global warming when there were snowstorms in November in Canada. Nevertheless, there are better ways to begin a book. Indeed, beginning just about any other way other than with the weather is a better way.

First things said:

"Can't I have the car tonight, Uncle Simon?"

Verdict: Fail

The Tower Treasure

"After the help we gave dad on that forgery case I guess he'll begin to think we could be detectives when we grow up."

Some of you may be wondering why I added this book to a review of Leslie McFarlane's work, but I have for a good reason as it was Mr. McFarlane who wrote the first several Hardy Boys books back in the 20's, 30's and 40's. Although the general ideas and outlines came from Edward Stratemeyer's company, it was McFarlane who wrote the books and though there were guidelines in place, he had a wide measure of freedom to write them as he saw fit.

So the first Hardy Boys book opens with dialogue. A bit of a no-no these days, especially in this case as there is no dialogue tag to identify the speaker. It could be Tom Swift for all we know.

The next paragraph is of another unidentified person speaking.

"Why shouldn't we? Isn't he one of the most famous detectives in the country? And aren't we his sons?"

Why is this kid asking his brother these (hopefully) rhetorical questions? It's redundant. However, the author has a reason: to clumsily insert back story.

Of course, one must assume that these are the Hardy Boys talking to each other, but which one is saying what? As I have read a few of these books in the past, I declare that Joe the younger speaks first in the series and Frank the elder second. But there have been fist fights at conventions and an attempted murder over this very question, which goes to show how passionate old men are, who were fans of the books growing up as kids fifty or more years ago. Sadly, all this could have been avoided had this been better written.

This opening goes on to describe the boys as both being bright-eyed and having the same firm mouths. In general not the kind of opening that would succeed in today's market. No wonder some of these books were edited. The "new" version of The Tower Treasure, edited in 1959 by Harriet Adams, which you'll find today in the bookstores begins thus:

Frank and Joe Hardy clutched the grips of their motorcycles and stared in horror at the oncoming car. It was careening from side to side on the narrow road. 

"He'll hit us! We'd better climb this hillside- and fast!" Frank exclaimed, as the boys brought their motorcycles to a screeching halt and leaped off. 

It the edited version Frank speaks first, which is as it should be as he is the oldest, and both boys are clearly identified at the beginning of the scene. Plus, there's conflict. On the down side, in the edited version the language is a little melodramatic; thus, some of the charm of the original is lost.

You be the judge as to which one hooks more. Although, good luck finding a copy of the original text.

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

The Idiots of Muffy School by Larry Ornywall

The grade three class watched in horrified fascination as their teacher, Miss McMinty hanged herself over her desk

The very fact that this takes place in school is conflict enough for most little people, so the fact that a teacher is hanging herself in front of her class is a conflict bonus. The opening line has most of the ingredients that keep people reading: character and conflict, a dash of weirdness and some setting and tone to boot for all you exposition freaks who are disturbed by too much conflict too soon in your story and demand to be eased in with a weather report and a fashion review.

Most importantly, this line manages to raise a couple questions: Why is the teacher committing suicide? Is it because of these kids? Are they that bratty or perhaps evil spawn? How will the kids grow up? Will they be scarred for life and end their days in mental institutions babbling on about misplaced morals and dangling teachers?

But more importantly, readers are left wondering what this book is about and whether or not it is appropriate for kids aged 6-11. The fact that the author is in prison at the moment probably is not a selling point either.

First thing said:

"Now, boys and girls, no peeking when you go to the washroom, and no cheating because I'll be watching ever so very closely!"

Verdict: Pass

Sincerely,
Rudy Globird

Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan

We only have a few hours, so listen carefully.

Next line:

If you're hearing this story, you're already in danger.

This is kind of how the Percy Jackson story starts, with some second person POV. You'd think the author would change it up a bit. It's annoying, both the POV and the fact he doesn't change it up a bit. Maybe kids love this, but I don't - and yes I understand that this book isn't targeting me. The first page goes on like this before ending with:

Okay, Sadie is telling me to stop stalling and get on with the story. 

Good advice: a character is telling the author to get on with it, talk about a character-driven story. Then we get the hook on the second page:

I'm fourteen and my home is a suitcase.

First thing said:

"Dad?"

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Rudy Globird

War Horse by Michael Morpurgo

My earliest memories are a confusion of hilly fields and dark, damp stables, and rats that scampered along the beams above my head.

This opening line introduces a setting and reveals character by showing us a rather dismal past we may assume has affected the narrator or perhaps even defines him/her. This is proper use of setting so early in a story, a place and time, which the reader can easily imagine, that has shaped the characters.

But I remember well enough the day of the horse sale. The terror of it stayed with me all my life.

And so the first conflict and inciting event are introduced nice and early. By paragraph 2 we learn that the narrator is a horse. Some may be turned off by this somewhat anthropomorphic story and told from the point of view of an animal. For others this will be what hooks. As this novel is targeting the children's market, the premise should appeal. The idea of a story being told from the point of view of a horse in war time, is interesting regardless of tastes, as it offers the possibility of a fresh perspective.

First thing said:

"Not bad for three guineas, is he?"

Some person says this, not the horse.

Verdict: Pass

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht