Saturday, 17 May 2014

The African Safari Papers by Robert Sedlack

Thursday, August 11
7.23 p.m.
In Flight - Paris to Nairobi

Dad has us sitting in different parts of the plane.

This little bit of exposition reveals something about character, something slightly off kilter. Well, the fear of flying is not unusual, but the response to that fear, in this case, is. The rest of the first paragraph expands on this sentence:

It's in case we crash. He has a plan for everything. This way, one of us will presumably survive, proudly pick up the fallen torch and carry on.

The next paragraph introduces the narrator:

I hope it's me.

What follows is a scene on a plane with some foreshadowing and other hints that things are not right between characters, in other words, that there is some underlying conflict. Instead of coming out with conflict right away, the writer shows us how the characters coping with one another's weirdness, thus creating tension between the characters, which can be conflict enough. In any case, the reader is pulled in by the arguments.

Then the narrator goes to smoke in the airplane bathroom and we learn a neat way to smoke on a plane without setting the alarms off.

First thing said:

"There's nothing to be afraid of."

Verdict: Pass

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

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