May 14, 1924
Dear parents,
Last night I visited a club in Montparnasse where the men dress as women and the women as men.
What makes this sentence work is that the date is 1924. If this was a modern story set in 2014 it would not have the same impact, though undoubtedly still hook some people.
The rest of the first paragraph:
Papa would have loved it. And Mama's face would have crinkled in that special smile she has for Pap's passion for everything French.
I like that the password to get in is: Police! Open up! The exposition at the beginning is interesting and pulls the reader in as it establishes time and place and character. I think it's because of the letter writing style, which just tells the news, giving the reader the feeling of eavesdropping.
First thing said:
"Why not?"
Verdict: Pass
Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht
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