Monday, 14 July 2014
The Resurrection of May Mabel McTavish by Allan Stratton
This is about all one can expect from an opening line. We have a character, a problem based on previous problems as of yet unknown. This line raises questions which is what a hook is all about. Why would this person wish to commit suicide? What happened in her life to want to take such a drastic measure; moreover, this decision wasn't taken lightly - she's obviously put a lot of thought into it, which raises more questions.
The next line establishes some queerness:
She'd considered it off and on ever since she was ten.
A child contemplating suicide makes said child/character readable. The rest of the paragraph describes setting but it isn't the boring type of setting that makes an opening fail, you know stuff like: It was a sunny day. We are introduced to the Academy for Young Ladies, Gothic with turrets, parapets, gargoyles and bats. Unfortunately, after paragraph 1 the narrative slides into a little too much back story for a page 1.
First thing said:
The dialogue hereafter is well written, to the point and moves story forward and reveals character.
I like the title, even though it may not mean what I think it means, but that is fine for titles, even preferred, as there's nothing like a title to provide a little misdirection.
If it weren't for all the back story so early on, this opening would score higher.
Labels: 3-star pass