Next line:
It wasn't the setting.
So begins an obvious ploy to introduce setting. We get a paragraph describing the setting which is not part of the problem, not part of the something that doesn't feel right.
Then the next paragraph:
Nor was it the other guests sitting at the table with Peter Warlock.
Then we get a description layered with back story of the people who are also not part of the problem, not part of the something that doesn't feel right. Plus, what a name Warlock. Basically, this opening tells us all about what the conflict is NOT. I, however, am not going to fall for this obvious attempt to make back story and exposition seem suspenseful.
The next paragraph begins thus:
Everything looked the same, yet something wasn't right.
Suddenly, I'm reminded of Boris Karoff narrating Dr. Seuss books. Yes, kiddies, something just wasn't quite right. You know the voice. Then the clock strikes midnight and I realize what isn't right: the cliches.
First thing said:
"Ready for take off?"
This is in reference to beginning a seance, and no, they are not at an airport.
Verdict: Fail
Sincerely,
Rudy Globird
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