The Killings at Badgers Drift by Caroline Graham

She had been walking in the woods just before teatime when she saw them. 

Pronouns walking and seeing pronouns. We must assume that this is not good because the alternative is to think that "them" means birds or something and that there is nothing really interesting happening here.

Walking very quietly although that had not been her intention. It was just that the spongy underlay of leaf mould and rotting vegetation muffled every footfall. The trees, tall and packed close together, also seemed to absorb sound. In one or two places the sun pierced through the closely entwined branches, sending dazzling shafts of hard white light into the darkness below.

We learn that someone is danger. The scene is tense but I skipped most of it. Someone in the woods, running from persons unknown for reasons unknown. A fairly roundabout way to announce that someone dies.

Chapter 1:

‘There’s something very wrong here and I expect you to do something about it. Isn’t that what the police are for?’

I generally like cozy mysteries, especially if they are set in the UK. I've watched this TV series on occasion and liked it, so I thought it would be interesting to check out the book that started it all. The line above is the opening line of chapter 1 and is also the first thing said. It's effective dialogue because it moves the plot forward. A concerned friend of the prologuie is going to the police to have them check the prologuie's death, that it wasn't an accident.

Sergeant Troy observed his breathing, a trick he had picked up from a colleague at Police Training College who was heavily into T’ai Ch’i and other faddy Eastern pursuits. The routine came in very handy when dealing with abusive motorists, boot-deploying adolescents and, as now, with barmy old ladies.

The character description above is fun.

Verdict: Pass

I'll give this three stars because of chapter 1, the scene, the mystery of a suspicious death, that we know is murder because of the prologue and the characters that are revealed right out of the gate.

I also like the title. Not sure why, I just like it.

Sincerely,

Theodore Moracht

Death of a Policeman by M. C. Beaton

The fact that all the police forces in Scotland were to be amalgamated into one large force struck terror into police headquarters in Strathbane.

This line has just a dash of conflict. What it does establish for certain is setting, which is nice in this case if you like reading stories about Scotland. We learn a little later that one detective is happy with this news and since it is terrible news we can assume this detective likes this news for nefarious reasons. He wants to wiggle a certain police sergeant out of his cozy station in a town that will give you laryngitis trying to pronounce it.

First thing said:

"Sutherland is a huge country and it is surely economical to have Macbeth cover all of it."

As this is a series book, those who have read others and are into this are hooked by default as this book probably begins were the last left off. I've read a few of them and they start to tire after a while, with the same character conflicts and behavior, book after book. Cozies aren't usually design to hook in the first sentence or paragraph for fear of giving the readers who adore them a heart attack. Cozies ease their readers into the conflict. So one really has to show a commitment to them before beginning. Fortunately, they are usually worth the time.

However, as this is a mystery novel, there needs to be a mystery sooner rather than later. All of chapter 1's 20 pages is set-up that creates the red herrings by establishing motives for suspects. Only at the beginning of chapter 2 do we get a body.

Verdict: Pass (barely)

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Death at the Door by Carolyn Hart

Everything was set.

Before anything else I added the byline hook label, as that is what will draw people more than anything else to this novel. The plug on the cover won't hurt either: a Bookstore mystery. So I will add the book about books label too.

The opening line is short and does nothing to establish plot or character. Pure preamble. The only thing good about this is that it is short and can be easily ignored, except it can't because it is the first line. Unfortunately, the opening line is next to impossible to ignore. I try all the time but can't do it, unless it is long and tiresome like the opening line of Robinson Crusoe.

It's the next line that has the semblance of a hook:

She should be dead next week.

Not bad, but the pronounology is annoying. Who will be dead? Why all the mystery? Why hold back? What's the secret? Why be stingy with the plot points? Share! Authors don't because they want you to have a reason to read on. Clever, huh? But once someone has passed the threshold and read more than a few hundred books and perused thousands more in the quest to find a good read, this technique fails, it's like the carrot trick on the end of the stick - readers learn it's a trick.

As this is about a bookstore, I'd kill to have a beginning that tells us something about the bookstore, or even better, something about a mysterious book and all its quirky characteristics. Instead, the whole first paragraph has that flavor of preamble; all we learn is that something is up and that people are going to die.

First thing said:

"Not my lucky day."

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Murder, She Barked by Krista Davis

It hadn't been the best day.

In general, I like a mindless read and cozy mysteries with all their various themes and premises can fit the bill, but I don't like preamble, which is what this line is. Some will argue that this line represents foreshadowing, but foreshadowing requires some skill and is an art, hinting at some specific conflict to come. This line does not do that; it merely tells us that a story is coming - that there is conflict. Since I'm holding a book in my hand, I can infer that without needing to be told.

Next line:

And now rain fell so hard on the windshield that the wipers whisked back and forth in overtime.

Double cliche: weather opening and car opening. The conflict revolves around rain and little gas in the tank. And starting a sentence with a coordinating conjunction is annoying. And I hate when writers do this. And I will say no more about it.

For some reason, most cozies start this way, about the weather, idyllic or otherwise, and about someone going somewhere, usually to the cliched idyllic setting. The focus in the immediate opening seems to be on setting, rather than on character and conflict. In this case, the setting revolves around a hotel where people can vacation with their dog, and readers may assume that dogs play a role in the detecting.

And the first thing said:

"Been in there two months."

In general, the hook for these books is the premise, which one should read on the back before opening the book, as well as the cover and the punned titles, which I could do without, but must admit they are clever in most cases. In other words, the hook is not in the story beginning itself.

I've been coerced into reading large chunks of cozies; coerced by pretty covers and promising blurbs many a time, before wising up and chucking them. This genre can be so tedious at times (with all the social interaction that is either plotless or fattening up subplots that may or may not tie in to the main story arch) that I don't even care who the killer is or how the story ends.

I guess what I'm saying is that these novels feel like they're padded to attain a desired word count. Murder, She Barked may be an exception but after page 1, I've lost interest in being proved wrong.

Verdict: Boring Fail

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

The Christie Curse by Victoria Abbott

If I hadn't been desperate for a job and a new place to live, I might have made a run for it as soon as I got a good look at the sour face.

On the surface this looks like preamble but it does manage to present a situation that suggests conflict, being desperate to find a new place and a character in the form of a sour face.

What follows is a narrator looking for a job and an interesting help wanted ad. The standard tone of a cocky narrator is established early on. This tone is all the rage nowadays. Then the first chapter plods along with the interview interspersed with back story and witty lines to ensure we understand the clever and adorable personality of the narrator.

First thing said:

"I was expecting a man."

Though this opening dialogue does not reveal plot it does reveal character.

The hook is more in the title. Mystery fans and especially those who like cozy mysteries will definitely be attracted to this, how could they not be with the Dame Christie's name in the title with the word curse?

Verdict: Pass (barely)

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Every Trick in the Book by Lucy Arlington

By the middle of October, the heat and lassitude of a Southern summer had finally loosed its hold over the quaint, artsy town of Inspiration Valley.

Uh-oh, a weather report! The first paragraph, until its timely demise, continues to discuss weather and then paragraph 2 begins with more weather related themes by describing fall activities in this town. Paragraph 3 continues the season theme but now, it's in relationship to a specific character, the narrator, yet this is where the author manages to introduce a premise.

First thing said:

"Ready to put those guns to good use?"

Sounds like something the typical Southerner would say, or so a non-Southerner would believe. Oh, the realism!

So, despite the opening weather report, which bores me and does not make me feel cozy. Although, if you enjoy watching the weather channel, you'll probably disagree and find such an opening gripping. At least the dialogue is entertaining and perky.

It's great that we have the promise of some entertaining dialogue, unlike many other novels reviewed here that begin talking with something shallow like: "Hello?"

Yet:

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Rudy Globird

The Alpine Vengeance by Mary Daheim

My teenage daughter is pregnunt by a married man who used to be my husband but isn't her father (far as I know) and she wants to keep the baby, but I got four other kids (besides her) so we'll be too crowded with only two bedrooms and one bathroom (outside) and the roof leeks' - that's L-E-E-K-S.

Those aren't typos, so either this author can't write and spell, or more likely, this narrator can't, as it's hard to get a good education in a trailer park.

So this long sentence reveals character and conflict and setting all in one go. The situation is a little unusual, though perhaps in some places (where the fish bite) it isn't so unusual for a guy to hook up with his stepdaughter. The only negative thing I have to say about this sentence is that it is long, but it's a good long because the length is part of what gives it its charm. It's a run-on sentence written by a character who has a lot to get off her chest and a reader can't help but smile.

It continues with the narrator suggesting that the daughter get a job because the narrator's boyfriend was layed off and Mama can't help because she has something called emfasima, and Dad left years ago with the narrator's second husband. It's an amusing life story all on one page. Yes, it's back story, but it does more than act as an info dump - it entertains, presents conflicts and reveals character. Most importantly, it's brief.

However, I'm thinking is this person who can't spell or write correct sentences going to be narrating this entire novel? Because if so, I don't think I want to read it. I have enough problems writing my masterpieces without reading a book narrated by an illiterate character. I'm young and impressionable - it might rub off.

Nevertheless the opening sentence hooks despite its obvious drawbacks.

First thing said:

"Oooh!"

And then:

"Why did I ever thin it was a good idea to write an advice column?"

Verdict: Pass (definite)

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Battered to Death by Gayle Trent

It had been a long, bleak winter in southwest Virginia.

A weather report. Are authors paid more if they begin with the weather? Besides, call me a fanatical Canadian, but I can't picture Virginia having a long, bleak winter, at least not what I would consider a long, bleak winter.

Next line in paragraph 1:

Even though I was born and raised in the small town of Brea Ridge and should be used to the cold, often snowy winters, I was a warm-weather gal at heart.  

A history report, à la Dickens. The character continues to contemplate herself, as most self-absorbed people do, and as with most people it's not very interesting.

First thing said:

"What are you doing?"

Throwing this book away and going on to something better, thanks for asking.

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Rudy Globird

Hercules Poirot Collection by Agatha Christie

Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend.

For our 100th post I would like to review the beginning of a few Hercules Poirot novels, which is fitting, as David Suchet just finished doing all of Hercules Poirot's stories a week or so ago. Rudy and I both like his adaptation of the penguin detective, so here are some of my favorites novels from the Dame of Murder. How do those opening lines stack up?

Curtain, Poirot's Last Case

Who is there who has not felt a sudden startled pang at reliving an old experience or feeling an old emotion?

I like how this preys on personal emotions. However, as the title explains, this is Poirot's last case and comes off a little too sentimental. And beginning a novel with a question is always a risky business. In this case, this question does not arouse my curiosity - it does not hook

First thing said:

"It'll be Captain Hastings now, won't it?"

Verdict: Fail


Murder on the Orient Express

It was five o'clock on a winter's morning in Syria. 

Weather and a dot on the map. Not much to begin with in this murder classic. One of the most classic murder mysteries ever does not have an opening line that is equal to the novel. Why? Are opening lines not important in days gone by, by a writer that has already made her name?

What follows is a technical brief on the train.

First thing said:

"You have saved us, mon cher." 

Verdict: Fail

Peril at End House

No seaside town in the south of England is, I think, as attractive as St Loo.

Straight out of a travel brochure. Those interested in England might be interested, but not I. This is not to say that setting is not important, but in a mystery, mystery comes first, followed by a few other things like character. There's no harm in mingling setting when needed., but writers shouldn't expect to hook many people if they begin that way.

First thing said:

 "So it said on our menu in the restaurant car yesterday, mon ami."

Verdict: Fail



Appointment with Death

"You do see, don't you, that she's got to be killed?"

This attracts attention, even though we don't know who is saying it and in what context. It could be a joke or the radio in the background for all we know - that is to say a false hook. But it hooks most people into reading on to find out who is saying this and why. That is to say, it raises questions.

Verdict: Pass

The ABC Murders

Foreword
by Captain Arthur Hastings, O.B.E.

In this narrative of mine I have departed from my usual practice of relating only those incidents and scenes at which I myself was present. 

Chapter 1

THE LETTER

It was in June of 1935 that I came home from my ranch in South America for a stay of about six months. 

This is pure exposition with back story and it bores. Though, to be fair it is told in first person and is about a series of events that have already happened, which needs to be made clear - or does it and so soon?

First thing said:

"But yes, my friend, it is of a most pleasing symmetry, do you not find it so?"

Verdict: Fail


Overall, rather disappointing beginnings. Obviously Agatha Christie is not remembered for her opening sentences, or opening chapters for that matter with the information dumps and introduction of umpteen characters. We all know though that if the reader invests time and gets to say page 50 or so, he or she starts to feel the pleasurable sting of being hooked.

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Gone with the Win by Mary Daheim

Judith McMonigle Flynn pulled her aging Subaru into the driveway, smiled at the sight of her husband's classic MG, and glanced up at the squirrel on the garage roof.

So we get two cars and a squirrel in this line. Then the paragraph proceeds with said character talking to said squirrel, explaining some back story to the squirrel. Of course the squirrel couldn't care less. I don't either, and so now I have a renewed admiration for squirrels. This opening sounds insane, in an Insidious kind of way, but it's not, not really. It's just the writer trying to hide a back story dump and introduce a premise using dialogue between a character and a squirrel. In a way, it should be clever.

First thing said (to the squirrel):

"Ha ha, you can't get me."

The ridiculous diatribe to the squirrel continues:

No scampering around inside the walls, no taunting the resident cat, no digging up my flower beds will faze me. I'm a liberated B&B innkeeper, free of outside interferences. I'm focusing on my family and my livelihood. And no more sleuthing for me! The only dead body I'm interested in will be yours if you steal any more of my tulip bulbs. Take that, my furry little friend!

The squirrel, if it's paying attention, is thinking: what's this lady on?

The dialogue doesn't get much better. It sounds forced, like how comatose evangelists speak when they're eyes are tired and they can read the teleprompter properly. Lots of dialogue of one or two word sentences on page 2 and 3:

Brakes!
Hold it!
No!
I'm Blind!
Whoa...!

There's even a couple without exclamation marks for those who can infer emotion without punctuation.

Dammit
I never...
Concussion?
Uh...
The...

I kind of want to give this a pass because of the death threats to the squirrel, but the punned title seals the deal.

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht