Saving Kabul Corner by N.H. Senzai

Chapter 1
Perfectly Awful

Ariana haphazardly shoveled pistachios into a bin and tried not to glare at her cousin, Laila, who knelt near the cash register, carefully stacking jars of cherry jam.

This is another book was nominated for an Edgar in the junevile catogory.

This opening line does not reveal a mystery or even hint that there ever will be one. The rest of the first paragraph is lyrical, and clearly the writer is getting off on it, but nothing is happening, nothing important that is - meaning there is no story conflict. Paragraph 2 has back story and what makes that worse is unfortunately that the paragraphs are long.

First thing said:

"Hey."

This book is shortlisted for the Edgar award for juvenile novel. Fortunately, the judges are forced to read past chapter 1 so this would have a chance, even though in the end it did not win. If the opening is any indication, I understand why.

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Space Case by Stuart Gibbs

Let's get something straight, right off the bat: Everything the movies have ever taught you about space travel is garbage.

So begins an Edgar nomination for best book this year in the juvenile category. This line establishes setting and tone. However, since this is a mystery novel, we mystery fans need a taste of the mystery, sooner rather than later.

What we get instead for several pages is back story and character development. Important stuff, but please provide a hint of the mystery first, the puzzle etc. That is what hooks mystery fans. At least that is the easiest way to hook. Only after three pages do we get some hint of story plot conflict in the form of some preamble: the 12-year-old narrator says that it's because of the toilets that got him into more trouble than he could ever imagine. No clue though as to what that is. With all preamble, we basically learn that this novel will have a problem, a mystery, but intelligent readers can assume that anyway without being told, since that is kind of what novels are about: problems.

Then three more pages of back story before there is mention of a murder. No details though. The narrator eases in by going through the whole process of him going to the toilet on the moon. Normally this would be ultra boring and unnecessary, but as this is in space it is interesting to learn about how that is done in a low gravity environment. It's through details like this that the author manages to hook, because of the setting and the character rather than the mystery itself. This can only tell you that this is a talented writer. Lesser writers fail every day trying to hook in such a manner.

Anyway, I kept reading all the way to the end. I'm glad I did.

First thing said:

"Help."

Verdict: Pass 

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

The Idiots of Muffy School by Larry Ornywall

The grade three class watched in horrified fascination as their teacher, Miss McMinty hanged herself over her desk

The very fact that this takes place in school is conflict enough for most little people, so the fact that a teacher is hanging herself in front of her class is a conflict bonus. The opening line has most of the ingredients that keep people reading: character and conflict, a dash of weirdness and some setting and tone to boot for all you exposition freaks who are disturbed by too much conflict too soon in your story and demand to be eased in with a weather report and a fashion review.

Most importantly, this line manages to raise a couple questions: Why is the teacher committing suicide? Is it because of these kids? Are they that bratty or perhaps evil spawn? How will the kids grow up? Will they be scarred for life and end their days in mental institutions babbling on about misplaced morals and dangling teachers?

But more importantly, readers are left wondering what this book is about and whether or not it is appropriate for kids aged 6-11. The fact that the author is in prison at the moment probably is not a selling point either.

First thing said:

"Now, boys and girls, no peeking when you go to the washroom, and no cheating because I'll be watching ever so very closely!"

Verdict: Pass

Sincerely,
Rudy Globird

Shakespeare's Secret by Elise Broach

It was the last day of summer.

This is the first kid's book to be reviewed on this blog and a nice choice as I am what is considered an anti-Stratfordian, you know, the alien believing idiots who actually don't see how anyone can actually assume Shakespeare is the author of the plays.

This line however doesn't hook. There is some conflict perhaps for kids - the last day of summer means school, not a pleasant prospect for most kids.By the end of the first paragraph, we learn that the hero is not only starting school tomorrow but it is a new school and she will be stepping of the bus into a sea of strangers. Other than this there isn't much else to interest. Besides the new school the rest of the chapter unfolds like just another day in the life of type of opening.

First thing said:

"You got the best room."

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht