Thank You for Smoking by Christopher Buckley

Nick Naylor had been called many things since becoming chief spokesman for the Academy of Tobacco Studies, but until now no one had actually compared him to Satan.

Character, premise and a tantalizing hint of conflict in the form of being accused of being not unlike Satan starts this book off. The opening paragraph is witty, descriptive, creative and ends with:

WARNING: SOME PEOPLE WILL SAY ANYTHING TO SELL CIGARETTES.

Tone is well established and one can't help but think this will be a fun read.

The rest of the prologue goes on to tell us that Nick works for the cigarette companies and is about to give a speech in front of health professionals. Nick that proceeds to spin, with expertise, in favor of the smoking campaign, making the anti-smoking camp look like a bunch of murderous doctors bent on taking away our core freedoms. Fun.

Chapter 1:

There was a thick stack of WHILE YOU WERE OUTS when he got back to the Academy's office in one of the more interesting buildings on K Street, hollowed out in the middle with a ten-story atrium with balconies dripping with ivy.

A little overwritten, but at least chapter 1 takes over where the prologue left off and isn't about different people in a different place.The paragraphs are long and descriptive slowing the narrative down, but most readers should be hooked by the prologue and be able to weather their way through the long, rambling opening paragraphs of chapter 1.

First thing said:

"Believe it or not, I'm delighted to be here at the Clean Lungs 2000 symposium."

Verdict: Pass

Sincerely,
Rudy Globird

The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens

The first ray of light which illumines the gloom, and converts into a dazzling brilliancy that obscurity in which the earlier history of the public career of the immortal Pickwick would appear to be involved, is derived from the perusal of the following entry in the Transactions of the Pickwick Club, which the editor of these papers feels the highest pleasure in laying before his readers, as a proof of the careful attention, indefatigable assiduity, and nice discrimination, with which his search among the multifarious documents confided to him has been conducted.

A very long first sentence that because of its verbosity, it has a sarcastic tone to it, giving the Pickwick club an authoritarian air. On the surface this line reads like preamble but because it's purpose is to establish tone it reads like a cheesy announcement giving the reader a taste of more to come. Some might consider it overwritten, but one can't help think that is the intended effect.

What follows is the announcing of the rather ostentatious minutes of their meetings.

First thing said:

"Cab!"

part of the charm of this novel is its silliness and what better way to convey that then with the style and tone of this novel.

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. The Pickwick Papers ranks as the 76th best novel of all time.

Verdict: Pass (barely)

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.

It seems that the primary function of this sentence is to establish tone, not setting. However, as we may surmise from the cool title, the galaxy has many places to visit and other forms of intelligent life schmooze with. Beginning with us being in space and being insignificant and "unfashionable" foreshadows conflict to come.

The opening page quickly zooms in on Earth before moving on to other funny things like galactic books with titles like Fifty-three more Things to do in Zero Gravity and Where God Went Wrong.

Chapter 1:

The house stood on a slight rise just on the edge of the village.

This sentence would be of epic fail proportions if it wasn't for the ending of the prologue:

It begins with a house.

Actually it is still pretty bad. The first paragraph decides to describe the setting, as if we should care or as if it should have something to do with the plot, as it doesn't since we learn at the end of chapter 1 that the earth has only 12 minutes left. It then goes on to describe Arthur Dent, the weather and how he is spending his Thursday morning, you know: Kettle, plug, fridge, milk, coffee. Yawn. [Author's words, not mine]

First thing said:

"Come off it, Mr. Dent, you can't win you know."

Verdict: Pass (barely)

This gets 2.5 stars on the strength of the prologue, not on the opening of chapter 1, which is a solid fail.

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Undead and Unsure by MaryJanice Davidson

The devil's dead, and the Antichrist is pissed.

Ah, the sophistication of modern chick-lit wit. Sassy, over the top hyperbole and proud of it. The people who are hooked by this stuff, I avoid, as naturally as getting indigestion.

That pretty much sums the whole thing right there.

Really! Meaning, there's no need to read on?

Well...there's one more thing: I killed the devil. And the Antichrist is my half sister.

Darn it, I was hoping I'd finished. One thing these sentences have going for them is their blunt, direct and challenging nature, but the flippant tone drowns out anything meaningful.

Take these lines for example:

Who makes their own butter?
When did we all decide we were living in Little House on the Prairie reruns?
I used to be heavily dependent on Hallmark.
"Sorry I killed your mom, who was also Satan. Also, Happy Thanksgiving."

There are more, every second sentence is woolly. The wit is overflowing off the page, spilling into my brain and short-circuiting the little grey cells.

First thing said:

"You weren't answering my calls or replying to...to my...my...texts."

Yet, I'm fascinated by the state of conscious this style of writing requires from its readers.

Verdict: Pass (barely)

Sincerely,
Rudy Globird

Zoo Time by Howard Jacobson

When the police apprehended me I was still carrying the book I'd stolen from the Oxfam bookshop in Chipping Norton, a pretty Cotswold town where I'd been addressing a reading group.

A novel that begins with a stolen book. I like this. Bonus that the scene that unfolds on page 1 is fascinating. A bunch of women, the reading group, are about to flame the narrator, an author, we presume, for using what the bunch of women perceive as sexist grammar. One lady had hundreds of passages marked with phosphorescent arrows pointing accusingly at the offensive pronoun 'he'.

First thing said:

"Why do you hate women so much?"

This could get nasty. It turns into an altercation about pronouns and their true meanings. 'He' is neuter so the narrator claims. But the women want him to admit that he stroke she is better. It intensifies as one lady who pronounces book like berk threatens to hit the narrator with his berk.

Random cool line:

"What's wrong with 'he stroke she'?" she challenged me, making the sign of the oblique with her finger only inches from my face, wounding me with punctuation.

Verdict: Cool ( I want more)

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht