The Trial by Franz Kafka

Someone must have traduced Joseph K., for without having done anything wrong he was arrested one fine morning.

This is the translation that I have by Willa and Edwin Muir, but I prefer this one translated by David Wyllie:

Someone must have been telling lies about Josef K., he knew he had done nothing wrong but, one morning, he was arrested.

Breon Mitchell's translation:

Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything wrong, he was arrested.

The reason for the preference of the last two is that there is no mention of the "fine" weather, just that he is arrested in the morning. In any case, all three translations are excellent.

The opening line from The Trial is what a first sentence should be. No wonder it's so famous. It raises questions, introduces a character and a situation pregnant with conflict. It also foreshadows what K. can expect throughout the rest of the novel, indicating a futile and hopeless mood. From this line, conflict and character unravel in what is known as The Trial.

First thing said:

"Who are you?"

Verdict: Pure Genius (Can't get this out of my head; MUST read on - I've been manipulated!)

This from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his is as good as any. The Trial is number 51.

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

The Death of Artemio Cruz by Carlos Fuentes

I wake up… 

On a metaphysical level this might be some powerful writing. I can imagine all the stressed-out philosophers, after taking a break from all the hard thinking they do from 9 to 5 and kicking back with a beer to relax and be entertained, being stimulated by this line: I wake up…

Others will simply be mystified by its profoundness. The next line kind of ruins the endless loftiness of the opening line.

The touch of that cold object against my penis wakes me up.

This raises a question or two. Where is this guy? I thought he was in bed. Maybe he is, which would make that cold object all the more troubling. I read on.

I  didn't know I could urinate without being aware of it.

So this guy is in some weird situation in bed. We assume he has suffered some catastrophe but need to read on to find out. The writing is terse, blunt and full of tension. I like it. Read some random lines I've brought together:

I can’'t even make out the nearest voices. If I opened my eyes, would I be able to hear them?… But my eyelids are so heavy: two pieces of lead, coins on my tongue, hammers in my ears, a… a something like tarnished silver in my breath. It all tastes metallic. Or mineral...Then I just lay there, face down on the bed, with my arms hanging, the veins in my wrist tingling...I tighten my face muscles, I open my right eye, and I see it reflected in the squares of glass sewn onto a woman'’s handbag. That’'s what I am. 

First thing said:

"Look, Doctor, he'’s just faking..."

"Mr. Cruz…"

"Even now in the hour of his death he has to trick us!"

So it seems this person is dying or perhaps is just faking it. In any case, there is an uncontrollable desire to read on.

Verdict: Pass

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. The Death of Artemio Cruz comes in as the 72nd best novel of all time.

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway

In the late summer of that year we lived in a house in the village that looked across the river and the plain to the mountains.

The next sentence is about the riverbed and pebbles and then with the third sentence of the first paragraph do we get the beginning of a hook:

Troops went by the house and down the road and the dust the raised powdered the leaves of the trees.

What's of interest is the troop movement and not the fact that they're making everything dusty. But this beginning is all about painting a picture of the scene, the fields and trees and weather before introducing character and conflict. But with the mention of troops the reader has something human to hold onto until concrete characters and conflict come, that is to say when the story actually starts, which doesn't take too long. It is mostly telling in chapter 1 and 2 which establishes the tone and mood. It tells of the struggles the fighting man had in World War 1, things like poor weather, disease, bullets.

First thing said:

"Priest today with girls."

Odd beginning of speech in any novel, as a captain picks on and bullies a priest as that is the only entertainment fighting men had. It's quite good and rather funny and is fairly early midway through chapter 2.

The opening line has no hook and is nothing to write home about, but by the end of the short chapter 1 it's possible for readers to get pulled in.

Verdict: Pass (barely)

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. A Farewell to Arms is considered the 73rd best novel of all time.

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh

When I reached 'C' Company lines, which were at the top of the hill, I paused and looked back at the camp, just coming into full few below me through the grey mist of early morning.

Thus begins the prologue. We have an unobtrusive introduction of setting - that of a military conflict, presumably that of World War 1, with a little weather to dull or soften the blow.

Chapter 1:

"I have been here before," I said; I had been there before; first with Sebastian more than twenty years ago on a cloudless day in June, when the ditches were creamy with meadowsweet and the air heavy with all the scents of summer; it was a day of peculiar splendour, and though I had been there so often, in so many moods, it was to that first visit that my heart returned on this, my latest.

I think this is a classic example of abusing the semicolon, using them as if they are chains pulling all the sentences together as they are being dragged across the page. The description of weather past is also to blame for making this line looked bloated. I mean all of that line just to say: I was there before. If I had a friend who rambled on like that I'd be in jail for assault.

First thing said:

"Has Mr Hooper been round?"

The prologue is of some interest with scenes and conflict and characters. It's long though, and there are lots of interruptions to the forward narrative.

Verdict: Pass (barely)

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. Brideshead Revisited ranks as the 74th greatest novel of all time.

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

The Last Chronicle of Barset by Anthony Trollope

I  can never bring myself to believe it, John," said Mary Walker, the pretty daughter of Mr. George Walker, attorney of Silverbridge. 

With an opening that contains dialogue we are usually forced to keep reading in order to understand what is happening. With this line there is a hint of trouble, but no way to surmise what that conflict might be. It could be about anything from a lost puppy to a cross-dressing priest. Though, the later is somewhat unlikely considering it's Trollope.

So let's read on and see if there is a hook in the rest of the first paragraph.

Walker and Winthrop was the name of the firm, and they were respectable people, who did all the solicitors' business that had to be done in that part of Barsetshire on behalf of the Crown, were employed on the local business of the Duke of Omnium who is great in those parts, and altogether held their heads up high, as provincial lawyers often do. They,—the Walkers,—lived in a great brick house in the middle of the town, gave dinners, to which the county gentlemen not unfrequently condescended to come, and in a mild way led the fashion in Silverbridge. "I can never bring myself to believe it, John," said Miss Walker.

Nope, no hook there, just back story. Then:

"You'll have to bring yourself to believe it," said John, without taking his eyes from his book.

"A clergyman,—and such a clergyman too!"

Suddenly the cross-dressing priest is looking more and more like an option until we learn that this clergyman is in debt. Oh, the tension!

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. The Last Chronicle of Barset comes in as the 75th best novel of all time.

Verdict: Pass (barely)

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens

The first ray of light which illumines the gloom, and converts into a dazzling brilliancy that obscurity in which the earlier history of the public career of the immortal Pickwick would appear to be involved, is derived from the perusal of the following entry in the Transactions of the Pickwick Club, which the editor of these papers feels the highest pleasure in laying before his readers, as a proof of the careful attention, indefatigable assiduity, and nice discrimination, with which his search among the multifarious documents confided to him has been conducted.

A very long first sentence that because of its verbosity, it has a sarcastic tone to it, giving the Pickwick club an authoritarian air. On the surface this line reads like preamble but because it's purpose is to establish tone it reads like a cheesy announcement giving the reader a taste of more to come. Some might consider it overwritten, but one can't help think that is the intended effect.

What follows is the announcing of the rather ostentatious minutes of their meetings.

First thing said:

"Cab!"

part of the charm of this novel is its silliness and what better way to convey that then with the style and tone of this novel.

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. The Pickwick Papers ranks as the 76th best novel of all time.

Verdict: Pass (barely)

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe

I was born in the year 1632, in the city of York, of a good family, though not of that country, my father being a foreigner of Bremen, who settled first at Hull. 

Who hasn't heard of this story? It is a classic adventure story loved by many (at least the TV and film versions), but the opening line of this is horrible. Perhaps back in the day this was the way to start, but as it has nothing to do with being deserted on an island, it is preamble and quite uninteresting preamble at that, not to mention that it's a massive back story dump. But this was the early days of novel writing and the writer was still finding his way.

The opening paragraph goes on in the same uninteresting way, talking about people and onomastics that really have nothing to do with the the premise; yes, we learn a little about Crusoe but in an encyclopedic entry manner.

He got a good estate by merchandise, and leaving off his trade, lived afterwards at York, from whence he had married my mother, whose relations were named Robinson, a very good family in that country, and from whom I was called Robinson Kreutznaer; but, by the usual corruption of words in England, we are now called—nay we call ourselves and write our name—Crusoe; and so my companions always called me.

This history goes on and on and on until we learn that he's a bit of a sailor though perhaps not made for such work, not that this is conflict that anyone would care about. Why couldn't this start with being on the island and then mention this boring stuff later when the reader would mildly care?

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. Robinson Crusoe sits at number 77 as the best novel ever.

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

The Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

How happy I am that I am gone! 

For a second I thought that this was in reference to the guy getting ready to blow his brains out. A little misdirection and foreshadowing that leads to confusion can go a long way in hooking a reader. The next lines:

My dear friend, what a thing is the heart of man! To leave you, from whom I have been inseparable, whom I love so dearly, and yet to feel happy!

According to Elmore Leonard, Goethe has used up his allotment of exclamation marks for a novel, though in Goethe's defense, he may not have read that bit of writing advice. The rest of the long opening paragraph has a feeling of ranting to it, which hints at the narrator's mental state quite well, knowing what we know of young Werther and his sorrows, assuming readers are familiar with this story before they start reading it.

I know you will forgive me. Have not other attachments been specially appointed by fate to torment a head like mine? Poor Leonora! and yet I was not to blame. Was it my fault, that, whilst the peculiar charms of her sister afforded me an agreeable entertainment, a passion for me was engendered in her feeble heart? And yet am I wholly blameless? Did I not encourage her emotions? Did I not feel charmed at those truly genuine expressions of nature, which, though but little mirthful in reality, so often amused us? Did I not—but oh! what is man, that he dares so to accuse himself? 

You get the idea. Nervous breakdowns are usually accompanied by an influx of thoughts related only by the punctuation used. Though young Werther's sorrows have not yet begun, we can see he is ripe for grief with the next line:

My dear friend I promise you I will improve; I will no longer, as has ever been my habit, continue to ruminate on every petty vexation which fortune may dispense...

First thing said:

"Shall I help you, pretty lass?"

This comes a couple pages in, depending on the edition you are reading.

Overall, I'm fairly certain Goethe did not write the opening of this short novel with the purpose of providing a marketable hook to sell copies. Even when he wrote this, he was fairly well known with a previous work. The hook was in the byline. Nevertheless, there is great emotion in this opening and the first glimpse of a character that is not quite as stable as you and I like to think we are.

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. The Sorrows of Young Werther ranks as the 78th best.

Verdict: Pass (barely)

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Candide by Voltaire

HOW CANDIDE WAS BROUGHT UP IN A MAGNIFICENT CASTLE, AND HOW HE WAS EXPELLED THENCE.

In a castle of Westphalia, belonging to the Baron of Thunder-ten-Tronckh, lived a youth, whom nature had endowed with the most gentle manners. 

The names are a little awkward, but I think they help to establish the tone of the novel. In any case, they are no weirder or more frightening than many of the names in the Harry Potter series. The line itself introduces characters but declines to introduce conflict so it fails by itself.

The rest of the first paragraph:

His countenance was a true picture of his soul. He combined a true judgment with simplicity of spirit, which was the reason, I apprehend, of his being called Candide. The old servants of the family suspected him to have been the son of the Baron's sister, by a good, honest gentleman of the neighborhood, whom that young lady would never marry because he had been able to prove only seventy-one quarterings, the rest of his genealogical tree having been lost through the injuries of time.

This is only mildly funny, in that Candide's parents couldn't marry because they could not prove the nobility back to the times of Christ. But the tone is by now established, and tone is Voltaire's strength.

First thing said:

"It is demonstrable," said he, "that things cannot be otherwise than as they are; for all being created for an end, all is necessarily for the best end." 

With this dialogue we get a glimpse of what Voltaire is known for: witty complex concepts, as is seen with the next sentence:

"Observe, that the nose has been formed to bear spectacles—thus we have spectacles. Legs are visibly designed for stockings—and we have stockings."

The opening line is of the preamble variety but then again that was the style back then. However, the narrative quickly shifts into Voltaire's style that borders on a sort of realism based on absurdism, which will pull in many a reader.

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. Candide is graded as the 79th best.


Verdict: Pass (barely)

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Native Son by Richard Wright

Brrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiinng!

Onomatopoeia doesn't pull one in the way it used to when we used to read Dr. Seuss as kids. This might not be an accurate representation of the opening line, as I couldn't be bothered to count how many i's there are in this word.

An alarm clock clanged in the dark and silent room. A bed spring creaked.

So we have the waking up or bed setting cliche. In all fairness this might not yet have been overdone by the 1940's, but it still betrays a lack of creativity. The short sentences help speed the pace which is existential, er, I mean, essential to getting a hook into a reader's brain.

First thing said:

"Bigger shut that thing off."

This comes while still on the first page. Dialogue early is nice as it means that the characters are going to be doing most of the talking and showing and telling and not the author - so to speak. It's a plus that the story begins with a scene. But there is little conflict in the first couple pages to pull the average reader in. However, characters interacting should hold most people's attention until the hook comes.

I hope.

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. Native Son ranks as the 80th best.

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Under the Volcano by Malcolm Lowry

Two mountain chains traverse the republic roughly from north to south, forming between them a number of valleys and plateaux. 

This line is quite nondescript. The mention of a republic only mildly interests as it suggests a setting. The mountains might be a metaphor. Reading the rest of the first paragraph we learn of two volcanoes:

Overlooking one of these valleys, which is dominated by two volcanoes, lies, six thousand feet above sea-level, the town of Quauhnahuac. It is situated well south of the Tropic of Cancer, to be exact, on the nineteenth parallel, in about the same latitude as the Revillagigedo Islands to the west in the Pacific, or very much farther west, the southernmost tip of Hawaii – and as the port of Tzucox to the east on the Atlantic seaboard of Yucatan near the border of British Honduras, or very much farther east, the town of Juggernaut, in India, on the Bay of Bengal.

By the fourth paragraph we are introduced to some characters, one of which is drinking something that reminds him of absinthe. Page 1 is nicely written with description that sets the scene, so on the plus one can assume that one is in the capable hands of a writer.

First thing said:

‘ –I meant to persuade him to go away and get déalcoholisé.’

There is conflict that is eventually revealed but having to wade through the geography and description first to get to a hook is asking a lot from a reader. The writing is great but it reminds me of those "where's the beef?" commercials. Only I shout out: Where's the story?

Verdict: Fail

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. Under the Volcano is 81st best.

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Oblomov by Ivan Goncharov

One morning, in a flat in one of the great buildings in Gorokhovaia Street, the population of which was sufficient to constitute that of a provincial town, there was lying in bed a gentleman named Ilya Ilyitch Oblomov.

This gets the bed setting opening. The thing that will save this is if something else is happening in the bed, like it's on fire, or he's sharing it with a dead body who's hogging all the blankets.

The next line:

He was a fellow of a little over thirty, of medium height, and of pleasant exterior.

And there is much more character description, mostly of the physical nature that you see in police reports.

A little later we learn why he's in bed:

With Oblomov, lying in bed was neither a necessity (as in the case of an invalid or of a man who stands badly in need of sleep) nor an accident (as in the case of a man who is feeling worn out) nor a gratification (as in the case of a man who is purely lazy). Rather, it represented his normal condition. Whenever he was at home--and almost always he was at home-- he would spend his time in lying on his back.

This is a little out of the ordinary but not really a hook. The conflict that follows is this guy is struggling to get out of bed. It is really the ultimate in the bed setting opening and of course there is more happening in bed other than someone just waking up to greet a plot. The fact this guy is in bed and can't get up is the plot. So this gets a pass.

First thing said:

"What is the matter?"

Verdict: Pass (barely)

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. Oblomov is the 82nd greatest novel of all time.

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board.

At least the writer made an effort to begin her book with a pithy sentence that establishes mood. Next:

For some they come in with the tide. For others they sail forever on the horizon, never out of sight, never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by Time. That is the life of men.

Philosophy will hook some, but really this bit of text is not really telling me anything I don't already know, it's just packaging it nice and neat with an analogy.

Now, women forget all those things they don’t want to remember, and remember everything they don’t want to forget. The dream is the truth. Then they act and do things accordingly.

Then an introduction of a character with conflict.

So the beginning of this was a woman and she had come back from burying the dead. Not the dead of sick and ailing with friends at the pillow and the feet. She had come back from the sodden and the bloated; the sudden dead, their eyes flung wide open in judgment.

The people all saw her come because it was sundown. The sun was gone, but he had left his footprints in the sky. It was the time for sitting on porches beside the road. It was the time to hear things and talk. These sitters had been tongueless, earless, eyeless conveniences all day long. Mules and other brutes had occupied their skins. But now, the sun and the bossman were gone, so the skins felt powerful and human. They became lords of sounds and lesser things. They passed nations through their mouths. They sat in judgment.

Seeing the woman as she was made them remember the envy they had stored up from other times. So they chewed up the back parts of their minds and swallowed with relish. They made burning statements with questions, and killing tools out of laughs. It was mass cruelty. A mood come alive. Words walking without masters; walking altogether like harmony in a song.

First thing said:

“What she doin’ coming back here in dem overhalls?

This comes earlier on, on page 1-2. So this is nice, that dialogue comes so soon. Let the characters tell their story through their own words and deeds,  and as soon as possible always helps to hook a reader. Unfortunately there is a lot of dialect which isn't much fun to read. But it would make the audio book more entertaining.

Verdict: Pass

I'll give this opening a pass for the title and the simplicity of the text in the opening pages, despite the preamble, which is not long. As well, there is some conflict kicking around here.

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. Their Eyes Were Watching God ranks as the 83rd greatest novel of all time.

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Waverley by Sir Walter Scott

The title of this work has not been chosen without the grave and solid deliberation which matters of importance demand from the prudent. 

What this is really saying is that this is going to be a long book, so you better have lots of extra time reading about things that don't really have anything to do with the story that I will or will not tell all in good time. So begins chapter 1 entitled: Introductory. But it's really more like a preface.

Chapter 2:

It is, then, sixty years since Edward Waverley, the hero of the following pages, took leave of his family, to join the regiment of dragoons in which he had lately obtained a commission. 

So this is where the story starts. We have a character and a change of circumstances that may or may not be for the worse. We may assume there will be lots of conflict with Waverley joining a regiment. What follows are thick paragraphs of back story and history and lots of telling that makes Madame Bovary look like a children's picture book.

First thing said:

"'Woe, woe, for Scotland, not a whit for me!'

This comes in chapter 4 after pages and pages of dense narrative text. It sounds campy to today's ear. I blame Ed Wood and Monty Python for my inability to appreciate this.

Verdict: Fail

I suspect this was written in a time when people didn't need to be coerced into reading something by being hooked.

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. Waverley comes in at the 84th greatest novel of all time.

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Snow Country by Kawabata Yasunari

The train came out of the long tunnel into the snow country. 

A dramatic beginning for the birth of the title. A visual image of beginning that would be suited for a film opening. English teachers will like this line though, as if the long tunnel is a metaphor for something worth spending hours discussing in class. The next line is a weather report:

The earth lay white under the night sky. The train pulled up at a signal stop.

A scene quickly unfolds that feels like it's been cut out of life, raw:

A girl who had been sitting on the other side of the car came over and opened the window in front of Shimamura. The snowy cold poured in. Leaning far out the window, the girl called to the station master as though he were a great distance away.

The station master walked slowly over the snow, a lantern in his hand. His face was buried to the nose in a muffler, and the flaps of his cap were turned down over his ears.

It’s that cold, is it, thought Shimamura. Low, barracklike buildings that might have been railway dormitories were scattered here and there up the frozen slope of the mountain. The white of the snow fell away into the darkness some distance before it reached them.

I like the sparse prose and minimal descriptive style. This minimalism helps to establish tone and mood. The scene pulls one in, but only up to a point; there needs to be conflict to hold interest more than a page or two. Then we get some dialogue, still on page 1:

“How are you?” the girl called out. “It’s Yoko.”

“Yoko, is it. On your way back? It’s gotten cold again.”

“I understand my brother has come to work here. Thank you for all you’ve done.”

“It will be lonely, though. This is no place for a young boy.”

If all we have to go on is the good writing then this will hook, but I like my openings to have character and conflict and this opening dilly-dally's around too much for my liking.

Verdict: Fail

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. Snow Country is considered the 85th greatest novel of all time.

Sincerely,

Theodore Moracht

1984 by George Orwell

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. 

I've already this novel numerous times, so to review this we have to break our rule of not having read the book before reviewing it. It's doubly hard because this is one of my favorite novels and my opinion of the hook will be biased.

But let's try to look at this as if we have no idea what this book is about, as if it were new and no one had heard anything about it.  Right out of the gate, the title is misleading. Of course we know this was published in 1949 so 1984 was the future then and up until 1984 people would have had an inkling that this was some kind of futuristic book, with some fantasy, perhaps a cautionary tale - and they would have figured that out just from the title. Now anyone who picks this up might think it's an historical novel, assuming they ignore the blurb. The point being the title was destined to lose it's effectiveness at some point in time. Even if it was called 2084 or 2184, time is ticking. Let's say I wrote a novel called 1972. What would be your conclusion as to its premise? Wrong! It's about flesh-eating aliens who process humans into cosmic coke in a parallel universe not unlike Berlin in the 1920's. Get it? 1927 backwards, so there! The lesson here? None really, or maybe choose a title that will remain effective - forever.

Now, to the first line.

Beginning with setting is not a really good idea, unless you begin like 1984. Standard setting is usually boring, but setting that is weird or makes you ask, "what the--?" hooks. The line is striking and immediately reveals  that something is not right about the world of this novel. It is vital to reveal this early in a dystopian novel. The next sentence we meet the protagonist dealing with bad weather as a little more dismal setting is revealed.

Winston Smith, his chin nuzzled into his breast in an effort to escape the vile wind, slipped quickly through the glass doors of Victory Mansions, though not quickly enough to prevent a swirl of gritty dust from entering along with him. 

Then the next paragraph:

The hallway smelt of boiled cabbage and old rag mats. At one end of it a coloured poster, too large for indoor display, had been tacked to the wall. It depicted simply an enormous face, more than a metre wide: the face of a man of about forty-five, with a heavy black moustache and ruggedly handsome features. Winston made for the stairs. It was no use trying the lift. Even at the best of times it was seldom working, and at present the electric current was cut off during daylight hours. It was part of the economy drive in preparation for Hate Week. 

More tantalizing tidbits of the dystopian setting are revealed with the introduction of Hate Week.

First thing said:

'Oh, comrade,' she began in a dreary, whining sort of voice, 'I thought I heard you come in.'

Verdict: Pass

Overall, there are better opening lines than this, despite its fame. It is the fact it focuses on setting rather than character and conflict in a scene that lowers the rating. However, in a dystopian novel beginning with setting is acceptable, as the setting is very much an antagonizing force. As well, it establishes the dismal mood that is carried throughout the novel. In any case, the opening couple pages are well done and pull readers in right away.

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. 1984 is the 86th greatest novel of all time.

Sincerely,

Theodore Moracht

The Betrothed by Alessandro Manzoni

That branch of the Lake of Como, which turns toward the south between two unbroken chains of mountains, presenting to the eye a succession of bays and gulfs, formed by their jutting and retiring ridges, suddenly contracts itself between a headland to the right and an extended sloping bank on the left, and assumes the flow and appearance of a river. 

What is this - a novel or a geological study? The next sentence:

The bridge by which the two shores are here united, appears to render the transformation more apparent, and marks the point at which the lake ceases, and the Adda recommences, to resume, however, the name of Lake where the again receding banks allow the water to expand itself anew into bays and gulfs. 

Obviously people had more time on their hands when this was first published than people have these days. This, however, should illustrate why opening with landscape and setting does not hook. It's as if the author wished he was a painter instead of a writer, and fails at both. Telling a story requires a different set of tools than those needed for painting a picture and no matter how wonderful one paints that picture with words, it will obviously lack in some shape or form. Of course a writer can paint a picture in the reader's mind, but I think it needs to be simple in order to no hinder the imagination.

The rest of the first long paragraph is continues describing the geology of the novel's setting.

With paragraph 2 we are introduced to a character:

Towards evening, on the 7th day of November, 1628, Don Abbondio, curate of one of the villages before alluded to (but of the name of which, nor of the house and lineage of its curate, we are not informed), was returning slowly towards his home, by one of these pathways. 

What follows is a lot of back story, and I mean a lot with a few fourth-wall breaks.

First thing said:

"Signor Curate."

I'm sure Goethe would roll over in his grave with my verdict of this opening if he cared what I thought, which I'm sure he doesn't. He said this was the greatest novel of his time, but that was a time when people had the time to waste and the brain to appreciate the nuances of storytelling and of life it portrays. But people today? We. Have. More. Important. Things. To. Do.

Verdict: Fail

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. The Betrothed is the 87th greatest novel of all time.

Sincerely,

Theodore Moracht

The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper

It was a feature peculiar to the colonial wars of North America, that the toils and dangers of the wilderness were to be encountered before the adverse hosts could meet. 

Preamble and exposition begin this novel. At the time it was written, people may have had less access to information than we do today, so perhaps an expository introduction was necessary. But it feels like the novel is beginning with an encyclopedic footnote. If you don't believe me, read the rest of the first paragraph and see if your eyes don't start to glaze over and your brain start to atrophy.

A wide and apparently an impervious boundary of forests severed the possessions of the hostile provinces of France and England. The hardy colonist, and the trained European who fought at his side, frequently expended months in struggling against the rapids of the streams, or in effecting the rugged passes of the mountains, in quest of an opportunity to exhibit their courage in a more martial conflict. But, emulating the patience and self-denial of the practiced native warriors, they learned to overcome every difficulty; and it would seem that, in time, there was no recess of the woods so dark, nor any secret place so lovely, that it might claim exemption from the inroads of those who had pledged their blood to satiate their vengeance, or to uphold the cold and selfish policy of the distant monarchs of Europe.

A characteristic of the writing style in those days is long-winded sentences that would need some serious weeding to appeal to today's dumbed down taste. After all, people were smarter back then. Nowadays, people enjoying reading a series of sentence fragments and one word paragraphs.

First thing said:

"Are such specters frequent in the woods, Heyward, or is this sight an especial entertainment ordered on our behalf?"

This dialogue only comes in chapter 2 which further suggests that chapter 1 is pure telling and informing. However, it does move the plot forward and asks for some pertinent information.

Verdict: Fail

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. The Last of the Mohicans figures in as the 88th greatest novel of all time.

Sincerely,

Theodore Moracht

Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe

Late in the afternoon of a chilly day in February, two gentlemen were sitting alone over their wine, in a well-furnished dining parlor, in the town of P——, in Kentucky.

It's been suggested that evaluating old novels by today's standards may not be fair. But if that's the case than how should they be judged? Or should we not have opinions about literature that was written before our time? Personally, I think that a story is a story is a story and that it matters not when it was written. A story is interesting only because of its characters and conflict. Of course there are other necessary things, but in the beginning of a story this is important. Setting is not a hookable device, unless of course one is reading the beginning of Sharknado. 

So with novels this old I try to focus on the opening only from the point of conflict and character. I ignore the obvious things that sound arcane, like style: sentence structure and word choice. In this case the peculiar habit of censoring out names of places and people.

This opening line offers nothing that might hook someone. It employs the weather cliche and drinking cliche and little else. The only thing it lacks, not making it pure exposition, is the once upon time phrase.

The next line:

There were no servants present, and the gentlemen, with chairs closely approaching, seemed to be discussing some subject with great earnestness.

The word "seem" is not a good word to use if one wishes to be concise. In this case we are told that two men are talking about something that may or may not be worth reading about. Why say this if it is not important and why say this if it is important? Why not begin right away with what they are talking about about?

Then the next paragraph:

For convenience sake, we have said, hitherto, two gentlemen. One of the parties, however, when critically examined, did not seem, strictly speaking, to come under the species. 

Ill-defined preamble does not create suspense. However, this line does indicate a hook in that one of these men is not strictly speaking a gentlemen. Or am I trying too hard to make this opening sound better than it is? What follows is a description of a man:

He was a short, thick-set man, with coarse, commonplace features, and that swaggering air of pretension which marks a low man who is trying to elbow his way upward in the world. He was much over-dressed, in a gaudy vest of many colors, a blue neckerchief, bedropped gayly with yellow spots, and arranged with a flaunting tie, quite in keeping with the general air of the man. His hands, large and coarse, were plentifully bedecked with rings; and he wore a heavy gold watch-chain, with a bundle of seals of portentous size, and a great variety of colors, attached to it,—which, in the ardor of conversation, he was in the habit of flourishing and jingling with evident satisfaction. His conversation was in free and easy defiance of Murray's Grammar, and was garnished at convenient intervals with various profane expressions, which not even the desire to be graphic in our account shall induce us to transcribe.

Here we have a character who I think would interest most people and nudge them to read on.

First thing said:

"That is the way I should arrange the matter," said Mr. Shelby.

Verdict: Fail

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. Uncle Tom's Cabin figures in as the 89th greatest novel of all time.

Sincerely,

Theodore Moracht

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

In 1815, M. Charles-Francois-Bienvenu Myriel was Bishop of D—— He was an old man of about seventy-five years of age; he had occupied the see of D—— since 1806.

Very much a 'once upon a time' type beginning by easing the reader in idyllically with back story moving at a snail's pace. Next sentence and second paragraph:

Although this detail has no connection whatever with the real substance of what we are about to relate, it will not be superfluous, if merely for the sake of exactness in all points, to mention here the various rumors and remarks which had been in circulation about him from the very moment when he arrived in the diocese.

When an author comments on his opening line, you know this is going to be long; no wonder Les Miserable is a million pages long. So if you got a couple months to kill, this might be the book for you. Next sentence:

True or false, that which is said of men often occupies as important a place in their lives, and above all in their destinies, as that which they do. 

Then we get some lecturing. I don't like when author's lecture their readers, but starting so soon in a novel is ominous. Then a huge back story dump

First thing said:

"Who is this good man who is staring at me?"

This is part of the series: the top 100 novels from Daniel S. Burt's book called Novel 100, the top 100 novels of all time. There is debate of course as to what should be on that list, but his opinions are as good as any. Les Miserables comes in at the 90th greatest novel of all time.

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht