Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Joyland by Stephen King

I had a car, but on most days in that fall of 1973 I walked to Joyland from Mrs. Shoplaw's Beachside Accommodations in the town of Heaven's Bay.

I don't know whether to give this the car opening cliché award or the walking cliché award or just the preamble badge. Whatever this opening line is, it's set up and nothing spectacular - though I like the attention to details. The first paragraph or section rambles on about great times and broken hearts. The next section, still on page 1, begins like this:

Through September and right into October, the North Carolina skies were clear and the air was warm even at seven in the morning, when I left my second-floor apartment by the outside stairs.

Weather on page 1 deserves the weather opening cliché award no matter what the first line of the book deserves. The line that follows is about what the character is wearing, the standard follow-up to the weather opening cliché.

Overall, page 1 and 2 are boring. My eyes glaze over reading the two above sentences written by Stephen King, and my mind squirms as it desperately tries to overpower these two comatose inducing sentences with infinitely more interesting thoughts like: What did I last clean my toilet bowl with, Pine-Sol or Comet?

I have better things to do than be bored, so I stop reading.

First thing said:

"Where does that leave me?"

Obviously, the hook is in the byline.

Verdict: Boring Fail (1.5 stars)

I predict our 1.5 star reviews will be short. There is nothing really to say about them. The work speaks for itself.

Theodore Moracht

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