Cornell Stamaoran slid his chipped thumbnail through the crisp seal of Jack Daniel's.
Another opening in a bottle. This type of cliché works better in TV and film than in books, perhaps because it's visually more pleasing than intellectually so. Of course, with this cliché, the reason for drinking must soon become clear. In this case, it's a lifestyle as the person is homeless; hence, the stereotyping that homeless people drink. Stereotype plus cliché is not creative.
Chapter 1 feels more like a prologue as there are prologies, characters dying right off the bat. Chapter 2 has entirely different characters. So everyone dying in chapter 1 might hook some people, but as there is no protagonist, I could hardly care who is dying. People and characters die everyday - except in the Hardy Boys.
First thing said:
"Hey, you, get the hell out of here."
Verdict: Fail
Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht
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