Yawn. Nothing to see here. Move along to the next sentence, maybe it will be actually meaningful and not a sputter of useless words.
It is cold, mist rising from the forest floor, sheathing the green bamboo trees in the grove, muffling sounds, hiding the Twelve Peaks to the east.
A weather report conducted by a tourist guide. The first paragraph continues describing nature before introducing a boy who is angry at the end of page 1. And so by page 2 the story begins, which is what hooks. I'd say just rip out the first page but as page 2 is on the other side, better not.
The book progresses with lots of telling and reads like a nonfiction book.
The first thing said (several pages in):
"How many bowmen are still here?"
Verdict: Fail
Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht
No comments:
Post a Comment