The scent of warm baking and fresh coffee was enticing enough to have Lucky Smith willing to endure the cafe's long line.
The conflict in this opening line is that people including the protagonist are waiting outside in the cold to get some muffins or whatever. So this gets the food/eating cliche opening.
I don't understand what drives people to write such sentences:
Paul took his coffee black and liked Tim Horton's just fine - although in this town the Tim's could have quite the line-up for coffee and donuts - and his passion was fishing.
This is not the only one. The opening is a series of discombobulated sentences and paragraphs.
Conflict emerges in the form of some idiots not knowing how to wait in a line up, which is a pain in the butt to experience so most people can certainly relate to these people, you know, the ones who think they walk the earth alone. It doesn't help that in this case these obnoxious characters are a bit drunk and getting all sexist.
First thing said:
"There's a line up here."
Verdict: Pass (barely)
I'll give this a higher rating than I think I should because the opening scene is one I can relate to and something I can care about and get all emotional about.
Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht
No comments:
Post a Comment