Women’s Murder Club series by James Patterson

IT IS AN UNUSUALLY WARM NIGHT in July, but I’m shivering badly as I stand on the substantial gray stone terrace outside my apartment.

These books have been hailed as terrible, so I thought I would see how their beginnings stand up. Book one entitled: 1st to Die, begins with weather and a shivering somebody on a substantial stone.

I’m looking out over glorious San Francisco and I have my service revolver pressed against the side of my temple.

I assume the person is going to jump and blow his or her brains out as they fall, just to make sure. A very dramatic beginning and every bit as eye-rolling. As we have no idea who this is, why should we care?

First thing said:

“Goddamn you, God!”

Evil thing to say. And theoretically difficult to understand: How can God damn God? And why blame it all on God?

I'm interested to see what this character is going to do. I'm only dimly interested why, though.

Verdict: Pass (barely)

AARON WINSLOW WOULD NEVER FORGET the next few minutes. 

Raises one question: Why the preamble? Answered in the rest of the paragraph:

He recognized the terrifying sounds the instant they cracked through the night. His body went cold all over. He couldn't believe that someone was shooting a high-powered rifle in this neighborhood.

Then:

K-pow, k-pow, k-pow . . . k-pow, k-pow, k-pow.

I love these sound effects like in the comic books. There are more later, too, presumably to fluff the word count.

First thing said:

“Get down!”

Just some shooting - not vitally interesting.

Verdict: Fail

IT WAS A CLEAR, calm, lazy April morning, the day the worst week of my life began.


Weather opening again. Beginning with the worst week of my life does not hook. Preamble never does. Readers assume when they pick up a book that it will be about something nasty happening to someone, presumably the worst thing of that character's life, as that is the story worth telling. So preambling is redundant. It is saying, in a less dramatic way: The weather was like this when this story begins with a story worthy problem, buy for 9.99 and read on. 

Do we really need the assurance that this story is about the character's worst week and clarify that this story will not be about the second worst week in their life when Bubbles the kitten went missing when said character was five.

From there we must relive everything that leads up to this worst week  - beginning with some jogging and back story.

First thing said:

“So, how did it go last night?”

Verdict: Fail

I think three books are enough.

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht