Ten Little Herrings by L.C. Tyler

The only strange thing about my telephone conversation with Ethelred was that he had been dead for almost a year.

This is the beginning of a short and rather funny prologue. This line is unusual - as not many people talk to dead people and so raises a question.

Next paragraph:

Well, you know how it is. You're sitting in a dead person's flat round about midnight. The Sussex rain is chucking itself against the period windows.

The tone is tongue-in-cheek funny, quirky, and light which doesn't sound forced or pretentious. I like the last line from above, even though it's obviously a weather reference. The reason I like it is because it is doing more than describing weather. It's establishing place - providing concrete information. Weather that introduces place is better than simply weather for weather's sake. Plus, the rain is personified by using the verb "chucked itself" which establishes tone. There has been some creative effort made to reword: It was a dark and stormy night...

Chapter 1:

I haven't always been an agent.

By the end of the first page we learn that agent means literary agent and the cynicism of the character towards the publishing industry is not only accurate but fascinating.

First thing said:

"Ethelred Tressider's residence."

Verdict: Definite Pass

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Bill Warrington's Last Chance by James King

Bill Warrington listened to the final huffs and pings of the engine and the crackle of the vinyl settling about him as he removed the key from the ignition and let his arms drop into his lap.

Another book that begins in a car. What follows is the character sitting there, pondering his garage or maybe how to begin the story.

The fifth paragraph is one line:

Bill opened his eyes. He was wasting time, sitting there like that.

Hopefully, the story will begin now that character realizes he is supposed to be in a story and not just in his car. But then the plot slowly gravitates towards and falters in a kitchen drawer. If this moves any slower the pages will start to stick together.

First thing said:

“Mr. Warrington?”

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Rudy Globird

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon

It was 7 minutes after midnight.

This is how chapter 2 begins. There is no chapter 1; so, so far that is the only curious thing about this opening and the only question. What happened to chapter 1? Has it been held over? Will the reader have to search for it?

The opening line itself is nothing to write home about. It gives us a time. It does not tell us where, what, who or why. Next line:

The dog was lying on the grass in the middle of the lawn in front of Mrs Shears' house. 

Here is a who and where and what - still no why. Half way down this rather long first paragraph we learn that the dog is dead with a garden fork sticking into it, and by the end of the paragraph we learn that this story is a first person narrative. So the mystery begins very earlier, though I would have incorporated the dead dog in the first sentence. But when we start to learn a little about the narrator and his special needs, I suppose it is logical to think he might start off by telling the time.

First thing said:

"What the ****'s name have you done with my dog?"

For a novel labelled as a children's book and having won some children's award, there is a lot of swearing. Perhaps I'm a prude or maybe kids today are so much more sophisticated than in bygone days.

By chapter 19 we learn what happens to chapter 1. This narrator is naming his chapters after the prime numbers, so the first is chapter 2.

Verdict: Pass (barely)

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

Murdering Ministers by Alan Beechey

Billy Coppersmith realized he was possessed when he caught himself thinking about breasts during the Lord's Prayer.

An amusing beginning that explores the confusion of teenage awareness in a church. This opening line introduces character and multiple conflicts (person vs. devil and person vs. self-guilt), plus it's a little out of the ordinary and not how one might expect a mystery to begin, a quirky line that sets the tone and the rest of the first chapter does follow . So this opening hooks.  The next sentence which begins the second paragraph:

If it had been the sermon, he wouldn't have worried. Everybody's mind wandered then...

Unfortunately the rest of the chapter slowly descends into a weaving back story that sounds like someone discussing and reviewing the past three seasons of Downton Abbey.

First thing said:

"After the same manner also He took the cup."

Verdict: Pass

I would have given this a higher rating but my attention started to wander midway through chapter 1 with all the people and their history being introduced. Annoyed by this intrusion of characters I couldn't care less about, I found myself skipping to the end only to find someone dying, which was good, but it certainly was a long-winded way of getting to that plot point.

Sincerely,
Rudy Globird

The Demon of Dakar by Kjell Eriksson

The clouds slid lazily down behind the mountain on the other side of the valley.

Setting and weather. Unless this is the sequel to The Clouds by Aristophanes which pokes fun of intellectual fashions in classical Athens, and even if it is, this does not hook, and there is no reason to assume there's anyone in the world this sentence would hook, not even meteorologists would be interested, as after a hard day at work making wrong forecasts about the weather, the last thing a meteorologist would want to do is come home, sit down to relax with a book that begins with more clouds.

But there's more. You won't believe this but the whole first page about 400 words or so is about clouds. Explaining clouds that gather nourishment and moisture, shifting indolently. The only good thing about this cloudy opening is that throughout this exposition on clouds, there is a character musing about clouds. The only hope this opening has is that clouds play an important role in the mystery of this novel. In the worst case scenario the clouds are a metaphor for something. If so, beginning with a clouded metaphor is a red flag.

First thing said:

"Make sure you don't lead her astray."

Verdict: Epic fail

Call me old fashioned, but mystery novels need to begin with a mystery or crime or puzzle to hook me.

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht

14 by Peter Clines

He ran.

So begins a short prologue titled Zero, chapter zero I guess. Because it's such a short sentence perhaps we should add some more. The prologue continues:

He ran as fast as he could. As if Hell itself were chasing him. As if his life depended on it.

So to sum up, in case you aren't sure: He's running really fast. Glance down a couple lines, and not only is he running like the devil but doing it with a knife sticking in him. So he can't be running as fast as the opening lines suggest to the mind and therefore with the contradictory information the mind shuts down and the book actually shuts itself closed..

Chapter 1:

Nate Tucker found out about the apartment as people often learn about the things which change their lives forever - by sheer luck. 

This line does not hook, it only promises that there is a hook later on, though when it will come, I don't know; you will have to read on and find out for yourself. We have a character we have no reason to care about and an apartment we have no reason to be curious about, except that it will change the character's life. So we can assume up until this point this character leads a boring life, or the story before meeting the apartment would begin the story.

First thing said:

"That suck's."

Hm.

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Rudy Globird

Triggers by Robert J. Sawyer

This is how we began...

Susan Dawson - thirty-four, with pale skin and pale blue eyes - was standing behind and to the right of the presidential podium.

I laughed at how the woman's age was slipped into the sentence, as if it really matters at this point.

She spoke into the microphone hidden in her sleeve. "Prospector is moving out."

Sounds like either a take down or a cliche Hollywood opening is about to materialize. Like many books in today's market, this one begins with a movie deal in mind. Honestly, this is how one expects a movie to begin (as many have already), but not necessarily a book. That's not to say that this opening is all wrong, but telling a story using the written word provides advantages no other medium has, and it would behoove a writer to use them, instead of replicating a movie opening.

Nevertheless, this book does open with a scene, some characters and one presumes some budding conflict. By page 2 there is some back story, but it's good back story - brief and filled with conflict, that sets the opening scene in prospective, with recent terrorist attacks.

Verdict: Pass (barely)

Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht