When a new bridge between two sovereign states of the United States has been completed, it is time for speech.
There is not much being offered here. This sentence sounds like it's from a news article or is a line from an encyclopedia entry, and it drags on into page two and bores me.
Chapter one:
Dr. Sarvis with his bald mottled dome and savage visage, grim and noble as Sibelius, was out night-riding on a routine neighborhood beautification project, burning billboards along the highway-U.S. 66 later to be devoured by the superstate's interstate autobahn.
Not bad. We have a character and a situation, which suggests some conflict. Even if it didn't, it is unusual enough to hook most people's attention.
The rest of the first paragraph:
His procedure was simple, surgically deft. With a five-gallon can of gasoline he sloshed about the legs and support members of the selected target, then applied a match. Everyone should have a hobby.
Everyone should have a hobby. A sarcastic, butt-kicking personality encourages most people to read on.
First thing said:
"Next?"
The prologue gets in the way. If it wasn't there, this would score higher.
Verdict: Cool (I want more)
Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht
No comments:
Post a Comment