Bank Holiday in England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales
These are my New Year’s resolutions:
1. I will help the blind across the road.
2. I will hang my trousers up.
3. I will put the sleeves back on my records.
4. I will not start smoking.
5. I will stop squeezing my spots.
6. I will be kind to the dog.
7. I will help the poor and ignorant.
8. After hearing the disgusting noises from downstairs last night, I have also vowed never to drink alcohol.
Hmm, I guess the entire list is part of the first sentence, so this constitutes a mild form of cheating, but who cares? Not I. Beginning with a list offers up a few possibilities and lit devices like foreshadowing and misdirection. This list will keep the reader guessing throughout and most likely keep the reader going back to this opening line as he/she reads. I love the resolution of helping the poor and ignorant. The last resolution sets up the next line:
My father got the dog drunk on cherry brandy at the party last night.
Not only is this funny but reveals characterization. It sets the tone for the whole novel.
If the RSPCA hear about it he could get done. Eight days have gone by since Christmas Day but my mother still hasn’t worn the green lurex apron I bought her for Christmas! She will get bathcubes next year. Just my luck, I’ve got a spot on my chin for the first day of the New Year!
First thing said:
"You've got a lot to learn, son."
I think this is the first thing said. As this is a diary there isn't much dialogue in the beginning and this comes several pages in.
Verdict: Cool ( I want more)
Happy holidays from the Hooked/Unhooked Brain staff.
Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht
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