Tuesday 17 September 2013

Bombshell by Catherine Coulter

She'd drunk way too much.

Great, a book that begins with a pronoun. Is this a narrative nudge-nudge, wink-wink tactic used to hint that most of this book will be intentionally vague?

Moving right along. Next sentence:

She was an idiot.

Cool. Now, we have a writer who thinks her opening character (possibly a major character) is an idiot. No wonder there is no name. Or am I supposed to infer that that is what the character thinks of herself? Damn it, I hate having to infer, it feels like I'm reading this for high school or something. Personally, if I thought my character was an idiot, I'd use "she" too. Wink-wink.

The question I ask myself (and this is not a question that has anything to do with anything like plot or characterization) is: Do I really want to read about an alcoholic idiot? Sorry, I meant about a character overflowing with tragic flaw syndrome.

Or perhaps this is foreshadowing: Reader, this character is so dumb that many bad things will happen because she is dumb. Yes, great conflicts lie in store for the unsuspecting reader, but not to worry, Gifted Reader, you will feel sorry for above mentioned idiot - partly because she is an idiot, but mostly because she is a likable idiot.

The second paragraph is one sentence:

She was very sure at that moment she didn't want to know.

Yep, that sounds like an idiot.

No dialogue in chapter One. Tell, tell...tell....snoozing.

First thing said:

"Rich, thick and dangerous."

No, it does not mean what you think it means - which is kind of disappointing.

Verdict: Fail

Sincerely,
Rudy Globird

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