His job, as always, bored him.
And this sentence bores me. Sure, there's conflict: someone being bored. But it's not the kind of thing one wants to read about. It's easy to resolve, though, just have something happen in the book.
With the rest of the paragraph comes the hook. At least the author wastes no time.
So he had during the previous week gone
to the ship’s transmitter and attached conduits to the permanent
electrodes extending from his pineal gland. The conduits had carried his
prayer to the transmitter, and from there the prayer had gone into the
nearest relay network; his prayer, during these days, had bounced
throughout the galaxy, winding up—he hoped—at one of the godworlds.
First thing said:
“Mr. Tallchief ...You’re being transferred.”
So the electronic prayer worked.
Verdict: Pass
Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht
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