The only conflict here is the pain being felt when taking off a T-shirt, and that raises only one question: why? So we get some exposition before finally learning that she's been bruised up at work. She's a police officer with a Glock. After reviewing a few of these modern crime mysteries, they all tend to blend into one beginning: introduce tough guy or gal with some attitude and some pain.
By page two, after several paragraphs of holding out, we learn Lena discovered four bodies. I would have preferred this first, rather than rely on the so-called character to hook.
First thing said:
"You just get in?"
The byline hooks though.
Verdict: Fail
Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht
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