Thursday, 12 December 2013

Dexter's Final Cut by Jeff Lindsay

It's not that bad being dead.

This is the first sentence of an introduction that is all in italics, which makes it hard on the eyes.

Confession time: I must be one of the few people who has neither read any of these books or seen the TV show. So this line is a little confusing. Is this a paranormal series? I assume it is; either that, or someone's on a drug pretending to be dead, in which case, they aren't really dead, making this sentence redundant. Either way, the line raises questions and is striking. Being a short sentence doesn't hurt either.

Reading the rest of this introduction (call it what you want, it's still a prologue) reveals that this is part of a filming scene. So whoever said he was dead is not, just acting - ha-ha. A deception on the part of the author to hook falsely. The classless ha-ha, I made you look technique that is used more often than one might normally imagine. It is an unimaginative way to hook a reader and is cheating, like advertising a product that isn't actually for sale. Shameful.

Chapter 1:

It all started so peacefully, just a few short weeks ago, on a lovely day in early autumn.

How quaint. What a preamble. How boring. The next paragraph wastes more time, ink and page space by describing what it's like to drive in Miami rush hour.

I would have given this a mere fail but the execution of the ha-ha made you look trick riles me.

First thing said:

Who cares.

With an opening like this, I'm tempted to create a new category for zero stars. I might call it the Black Hole Dexter Fail.

Verdict: Epic Fail

Theodore Moracht

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