Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Extraordinary by David Gilmour


What? That's it? That's the first line? Either it's the epitome of epic fail or it's pure genius. Maybe I'll flip a coin later. Anyway, next line:

You didn't know I had a sister?

How could I know? I don't even know who the hell this narrator is who's trying to talk to me.

Yes, Sally, a half-sister really.

Anyway, what follows is back story that is about as boring or fascinating (depending on your perverse tendencies) to read as going through a stranger's photo album. Then there are the attempts at profound thought:

Do the dead forgive us? I wonder. I hope so. But I suspect not.

Duh. Do you think? Anyway, I like the imagery in the next line:

I suspect they do nothing at all, like a spark flying from a burning campfire...

So even though there's a didactic undertone here, it's mildly entertaining and is written in an unpretentious narrative voice, though despite the familiar tone of the narrative, it still reeks of artsy-fartsy. Anyway, nice try, though.

Anyway, first thing said:

"I'm leaving you."

Though these spoken words are part of a back story dump and not part of any forward narrative, so I have no idea what this story is about on page one. Anyway, the life stories of the characters might draw some people in, but I'm thinking this could be a memoir so I'd better stop reading.

Random useless sentence smoldering with tone and attitude:


It's just too obvious.


Verdict: Fail

Rudy Globird

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