What? That's it? That's the first line? Either it's the epitome of epic fail or it's pure genius. Maybe I'll flip a coin later. Anyway, next line:
You didn't know I had a sister?
How could I know? I don't even know who the hell this narrator is who's trying to talk to me.
Yes, Sally, a half-sister really.
Anyway, what follows is back story that is about as boring or fascinating (depending on your perverse tendencies) to read as going through a stranger's photo album. Then there are the attempts at profound thought:
Do the dead forgive us? I wonder. I hope so. But I suspect not.
Duh. Do you think? Anyway, I like the imagery in the next line:
I suspect they do nothing at all, like a spark flying from a burning campfire...
So even though there's a didactic undertone here, it's mildly entertaining and is written in an unpretentious narrative voice, though despite the familiar tone of the narrative, it still reeks of artsy-fartsy. Anyway, nice try, though.
Anyway, first thing said:
"I'm leaving you."
Though these spoken words are part of a back story dump and not part of any forward narrative, so I have no idea what this story is about on page one. Anyway, the life stories of the characters might draw some people in, but I'm thinking this could be a memoir so I'd better stop reading.
Random useless sentence smoldering with tone and attitude:
Anyway.
It's just too obvious.
Anyway:
Verdict: Fail
Sincerely,
Rudy Globird
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