The pronouns are annoying; nevertheless, this line introduces something a little out of the ordinary about someone or other.
The next sentence:
She can't control her eyes, which dart about, or roll up into her head, so that only the glistening whites are visible.
Creepy image. This brief description of character pulls the reader in. We learn, still on the first page, that this is a girl of 9 or 10 and is confined to a wheelchair. The entire description is quite fascinating to read. Page 2 shifts and we learn something about the narrator as he/she tries to maintain a grasp of reality. It reminds me of Poe's style.
The tone and mood of this opening have all the hallmarks of a Scandinavian novel: slightly off-kilter, dark, and just psychologically penetrating enough to leave the reader disturbingly puzzled.
First thing said:
"Hi, it's Lill Anita here."
This comes on page 45, which means lots of telling. Personally, I would prefer a little, no, a lot more dialogue.
The chapters are short, making this quite hard to put down.
Verdict: Cool ( I want more)
Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht
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