Typical guy.Sentence fragment. Next line:
You fight through hell - literally, hacking through legions of beasts and zombies and demon-spawn - to sneak home and spend a few stolen minutes with him...and he's not there.
Why is this typical? Guys aren't allowed out of the house? This lady has some possessive issues to work out. Right off the bat, I'm less inclined to continue if it's intent is to belittle men, or should I not feel that way? If I wrote a book that began: Typical woman, I'd hear about it. However, the good thing about the second line is that it establishes tone, as does the first; both in their own good or evil way.
Next paragraph begins with a distracting POV switch from second person to third person. I was expecting it to be first person, but to end up third person is somewhat jarring. Anyway, so begins another "woman looking for her partner" opening scene. At least she's not in bed.
Chapter 1:
I led my half brother Bryce away from the rubble of the exploded lab, ignoring his protests, and ignoring Adam, who was sticking close and wincing every time Bryce coughed.
Okay, another distracting POV switch, this time to first person. At least this sentence induces a story-line. What I like best about this opening is the tone of the novel, not that that is enough to keep me reading, mind you.
First thing said:
"Where the hell are you, Kris?"
It's a pointless question because the character is alone and talking to herself.
Verdict: Pass (barely)
Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht
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