Near the shadow of the castle, deep in the green woods, Sorcha led her children through the gloom towards home.
Despite beginning with characters walking, this opening line raises a question, though not a very interesting one I'll admit: Why are they walking? Actually, saying it out loud makes it sound kind of stupid. The question, I mean, and that makes me wonder why I'm asking at all. If the word had been fleeing or racing then it might have been more interesting. The answer to the question found a couple sentences in is not interesting.
Despite that, there is some inkling of foreshadowing in this line with the word gloom and a character with some setting with phrases like shadow of the castle and green woods. though, are woods any other color? Why, yes dummy, so this tells us that it's not fall, yet the cover looks like it's fall. So, don't judge this book by its cover. And then there's the fact that it's winter 1263 so how can the woods be green - or is that pine green? The image in my mind is Ireland green. When I describe woods as green, I add the modifier to say that the woods are greener than normal green, like west coast rich and vibrant green.
Anyway, who cares?
What follows are several words like cennfine, bannocks and Imbolg, which is annoying. The scene drags because of the terms and setting set ups. I lost interest by the end of page 2.
However, people who like fantasy and feel that weird made-up, foreign or obsolete words give them a sense of fulfillment might enjoy this opening more than I did.
First thing said:
"Mind your sister."
Verdict: Fail
Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht
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