The phone opening cliche makes it seem like the plot is calling to see if this is the place and time for it to make an entrance. A ringing phone is not a problem for most people, so no conflict in the opening line, and the fact the phone is ringing shouldn't be foreshadowing conflict, except in novels it always does, contrary to the vast majority of real life. If I was a character who agreed to be in a book, I would refuse a phone. However, as people become more obsessed with their phones, they demand that phones take a prominent role in the novels they read, especially in the beginning.
First thing said:
"I'll get it."
It is only after this early dialogue that comes in the second paragraph that things get interesting, at least for those who would be interested in this kind of book.
A werewolf pack that eats together stays together...
This first line of the third paragraph almost got this a pass by the hair of its chinny chin-chin. If this is part of a series, then people will not be surprised by the mention of werewolves. For the rest of us illiterates, picking this book up cold, as we are supposed to on this blog, it is good to reveal the premise early and in such an offhand manner, makes it work all the more.
The first page continues by discussing food and the dishwasher, school and the dishwasher some more before someone answers the damn phone. Overall, it sounds absurd that werewolves are doing the dishes, like it was 1952. However, I understand why I feel this way: I'm not hooked.
Verdict: Fail
Sincerely,
Rudy Globird
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