Dear friend,
I am writing to you because she said you listen and understand and didn't try to sleep with that person at that party even though you could have.
There are first-person pronouns, second-person pronouns and third-person pronouns. The God of Pronouns has been well feed with characters regulated and sacrificed to pronoun hell with this opening line. Could this be any more vague? The only explanation is that this was written by a teenager. They are perhaps the vaguest people on earth, besides politicians.
What this line does do is establish tone and reveal character despite the pronouns.
First thing said:
"Boys and girls, I regret to inform you that one of our students has passed on."
This comes on the first page, so dialogue is used early to introduce a plot point and conflict. This is good as it let's the reader assume that dialogue will be used properly in this novel; that is, the characters will be allowed space to tell their stories without the writer's interference.
Verdict: Pass
Sincerely,
Theodore Moracht
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